


A Walk to Remember

by ElmOak1991



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Highschool AU, M/M, MCD, Sickess, a walk to remember au, love/romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22339318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmOak1991/pseuds/ElmOak1991
Summary: I remember it all like it was yesterday. I can still hear the sound of his laughter and the way he said he loved me. I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine and the smoothness of his skin. The memories are so close it is almost as if I could reach behind me, and he would be there to take my hand. It has been four years since I lost him, but the image of him walking toward me will stay with me forever.
Relationships: Dean Winchester and Castiel, Destiel
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This fic is based on the movie A Walk To Remember. While this fic closely follows the movie, things have been altered so some events will be different/events will take place in the fic that are not in the movie. If you've never seen the movie I 100% recommend watching lol. It's one of my favorites. It's also the rare instance in which I enjoyed the movie way more than the book. Also for those who have read my fanfics in the past know I try to update often, however these updates may come at a slower pace, but I will strive to update at least weekly. I hope you all enjoy this fanfiction.

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

I remember it all like it was yesterday. I can still hear the sound of his laughter and the way he said he loved me. I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine and the smoothness of his skin. The memories are so close it is almost as if I could reach behind me, and he would be there to take my hand. It has been four years since I lost him, but the image of him walking toward me will stay with me forever.

Sometimes I think back to how I got here, and it takes me back to a time when life seemed much simpler, and, in a way, happier. But it was emptier then as well. Castiel had opened my world in ways I never knew possible. Cas is the reason I'm where I am today, and for that, I will be forever grateful.

I presume you are wondering what happened to Cas? Well, in order to answer that I have to take you to the beginning. Back to that one fateful event that changed my entire life.

**Chapter One**

It was my senior year of high school and we had this stupid tradition in our little group that if you wanted to be our friend you had to jump off the edge of a steel catwalk type thing, into the manmade lake behind the cement factory. It was a jump we had all made, and the drop was no longer than fifteen feet. My friends where already at the edge of the water when I arrived. It was dark, and I could barely see the surrounding buildings due to the moonless night. The only light there was came from the headlights of the two cars.

I pulled up, my rock music blasting from the speakers of my 67 Chevy Impala. At this point in my life, this car was the only thing I was proud of. I had spent the previous summer fixing it with my uncle Bobby.

I took a puff of my cigarette , one I had just lit moments ago. I hated smoking, but they didn't need to know that, and was met by Gabe with a hand shake, fist bump sort of combo. We had made it up as our "secret hand shake" when we were little kids and it was pretty much the same with the exception of the end when we pretended to take of puff of a blunt, and put it out on out on each other's shoulders.

Looking back, I realized I like my music loud because it made me unable to think about much of anything. My thoughts then were that of an angry teenager, mad at the world about everything. Nothing was ever my fault, and everything was done "to me." I didn't want to take responsibility for my actions.

Gabe walked away, making a comment about having to piss so he made his way over to the woods. I looked back at Mike who was kissing his girlfriend Hannah. The two of them were either fighting or making out. He grew up with Mike, but Hannah was Mikes recent girlfriend. She was nice enough.

"I don't think he's coming," Hannah pouted to Mike. She was leaning up against Mike's truck, her arms crossed over her averaged sized chest. Her short dark hair was up in a twist and the black dress she wore was short with shiny things all over it. "This is stupid anyway. I want to go back to the dance." She wiggled her hips, trying to be sexy.

"Hey, you've been talking about leaving sense we got here!" Mike said, angrily, getting in her face. She leaned away some, clearly not liking his attitude. You want to go back to the dance, you can walk back yourself."

I pulled on his shirt sleeve, pulling him back some. "You know how it is," I said to her as I walked past them to Gabe's car. "No one is forcing him to do this. If he doesn't want too, he won't show up." I eyed Mike a moment, being sure he got his temper in check before turning from them. Mike was a bit of an ass, and he had a temper that made him even more of an ass. His moods changed quickly, so his out bursts of anger only lasted moments before he cooled off again. Still, Hannah was the longest girlfriend Mike ever had and that either made her incredibly patient or really stupid. He wasn't sure yet which she was.

"Anyone got any whiskey?" I asked, looking around to my group of friends. Smoking was something I faked, but my drinking habit was probably a bit out of control.

"We finished the bottle off at school," Hannah replied. "And I think we've all had enough." she added, before Mike kissed her once again.

"I believe I have a beer," Anna said, walking over to me. She tilted her head a little to the side as she spoke. She did this when she flirted. "It's probably warm, but it's yours if you want it." She smiled at me, and it took everything in me not to roll my eyes. We had been broken up for a month now, and she just wasn't letting go. She smoothed out the tight blue dress she wore, before brushing her red hair from her face.

"I'll just wait," I replied, the idea of a warm beer didn't sit well with me. I hardly liked it when it was cold. "He'll have to show up eventually."

"Well, if he doesn't, I want to go back to the dance," Anna replied, doing a little dance, much like what Hannah did.

"You know what?," Mike replied, then took a drink from his beer. "Why don't you go back to the dance by yourself?" Gabe and Balthazar chuckled at this, but Anna rolled her eyes at him. "You and Hannah can go back together."

"Ass, I was talking to Dean." She told him, annoyance clear in her voice. She looked at me, giving me her best smile.

"I don't dance," I replied, then started to walk away. "And we are no longer together."

"It's true," Gave said, sliding off the hood of his car. He took the lollypop out of his mouth to add, "I've seen the man try to dance, and it isn't pretty. Me on the other hand." He said, wrapping his arms around Anna. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm ready to get my freak on." he said jokingly as he gyrated his hips on her. "What do you say, baby?"

"I think you need to put your freak away and never do that move again," She replied, pushing him away. Gabe chuckled, allowing her to move him.

"Oh look, I think he's decided to show," Balth said, nodding to the approaching headlights.

"Bout damn time," Mike said, closing the car door. "Kept us waiting long enough."

At this point I was sitting on the hood of Mike's car. Mike and Gabe were both hyped up about what was about to come. I smiled, and laughed along, though I was less enthused than they were. They both made rude comment's on Benny's rusted car, and high fived like a couple of twelve year olds at their jokes.

Benny looked nervous as he got out of his car, but smiled the best he could. "Well it's about damn time!" Mike announced, as he roughly threw his arm around Benny's shoulders. "When I said for you to be here at eight, I meant be here at eight." Mike said, squeezing Benny's shoulder a little bit. Benny looked uncomfortable, but said nothing. "It's cool man," Mike said, his tone clearly saying otherwise. "Just next time be here on time."

I hopped off the car as they walked by, and we all followed Mike and Benny to the bottom of the steel structure. "It's not hard," Mike was telling Benny, who was pulling off his shirt by the time I reached them. I started undressing at well and he looked at me questioningly.

I pulled off my shoes before answering. "I'm jumping too." I said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. "Like we've said, no need to worry."

Once we were both down to our boxers, I led him to the ladder that took us up to the platform we would be jumping from. I motioned for him to go first, then followed him up. Once I joined him at the top I could see he was pale. "How deep do you think the water is?" he asked, his voice slight cracking.

I shrugged. "Deep enough I suppose. Don't worry. We've all done it." I slapped his chest in an encouraging way.

We walked closer to the edge, and from there I could see the others. They were hooting and shouting in excitement. I looked at Benny, a cocky smile spread on my face. "Ready? One, two." On three, I pushed him, and down he went. I laughed as he swung his arms and legs, and he yelled into the night. The others laughed too, and I guess that's why I did it. To amuse them and possibly myself.

Benny hit the water hard, and our laughter quickly ceased when he didn't come up. I could hear shouts of panic that seemed dim next to the pounding of my heart. "Fuck" repeated in my head. Anna's panicked words reached me. "Dean!" she shouted. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Is he hurt!

I made my way quickly down the ladder, and jumped into the water the moment I could. At this point, Benny was floating face down in the water, and I could hear Hannah asking Mike what they should do. I grabbed Benny, and struggled to get him to the dock the others stood on. "Help me!" I said frantically, as I drew near. Mike and Gabe grabbed at Benny, and began to pull him up. It was then a flash light shined in our direction. I could hear a faint voice in the distance, and a minute later I could hear the sirens of the cop cars. Mike let go of Benny, leaving Gabe to finish pulling Benny out alone. Gabe fled the moment Benny's top half was out of the water. They all cursed as they ran to their cars. I could hear them all yelling something to each other, but my own fear had me unable to make out what they were saying.

I pulled myself out of the water, and was relieved to see that Benny was coughing up water by the time I got to him. The sirens drew nearer and I struggled with myself on what to do. If I got caught I would go to jail for sure, but if I left, I would be the biggest ass ever. I hesitated as I looked at him. He was breathing and the idea of getting caught overwhelmed me. My mom would kill me, so grabbed my clothes and took off to my car.

I sped away as fast I my car would go, but they were already on my tail. It had also been raining and the dirt road was wet. As I tried to get away, my tires slipped on some mud, and I ended up drifting into a cement wall. The impact made me smack my head on the starring wheel hard enough to make me dizzy. Pain shot up my right leg, and I just knew the hood of my car was damaged.

I squinted as the cop approached, shining the flash-light on my face. I groaned and leaned back into my seat. I was screwed and if I had any hope of not getting arrested, I was going to have to come up with a lie, and quick.

To this day, I feel guilty for leaving Benny. Sure, everything turned out okay, but that was pure luck.

….

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is the first fic I've ever written in first person. Usually I avoid doing this because I just don't feel like I can get the feeling right. However with this fic, first person demanded itself lol. So if you see me slipping into third person (which I've caught myself doing) please feel free to point it out. Thanks and enjoy :D

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

**…..**

**Chapter Two**

…..

I'm pretty good at lying. Or at least that's what I told myself, and if anyone ever thought otherwise, no one ever said so. At least not to me. So when I told the cop that I just thought it was a nice night for a drive, and I found Benny, and tried to help him, but when the sirens started, I got a little scared and thought I should split before they thought I had anything to do with it. I wasn't really worried. It also wasn't completely a lie, which I suppose helped sell the news

They were convinced enough to release me a few hours later; though when I told my friends about it, I told them I'd spent the entire night. Surprisingly, none of us had ever been to jail before. We had all had close calls, and Gabe had just barely talked his way out of it once. So I said I spent the entire night because it seemed cool, and back then everything I did was to be cool and exciting. If I didn't think they would think it was cool, I didn't do it. Or they never found out about said thing.

My injuries were pretty minor. The side of my forehead had a pretty bad cut on it. The doctor used six stitches to stitch it up. My right leg was broken. It wasn't a major break, but I would have to wear a brace for three weeks, and then stay off it for a couple weeks more. Crutches were not fun to use, which I would learn in the following weeks

So there I sat the next morning at the kitchen table. My little brother Sam was quietly reading a book, occasionally taking a bite of his fruit loops. My mother was washing up some dishes, and I could tell by the way she moved she was upset. I couldn't blame her, and looking back I regret all the hell I inadvertently put her through.

The night before she had barely said a word to me. I disappointed her more than I cared to admit. Mary Campbell was one hell of a woman. She was a hard worker, and she took care of us by herself. Okay, that's not really true, but it's what I told myself. I hated my father and wouldn't see the truth of things. Anyway, so she was a pretty cool mom and I loved her dearly. Most of the idiotic things I did she would let slide, but this was big and I knew it.

I swallowed, feeling guilty. "I'm not sure I can go to church today mom. My leg is killing me."

She put down the plate she was drying and turned to me. She didn't say anything for several long seconds. "I think I should call your father," She replied. Sam looked up at this point. "Maybe you should go stay with him, get a change of scenery."

"No, I don't have anything to say to him." I replied. There was no way I wanted to talk to him about anything. As far as I was concerned he left us, and that was that. "And I refuse to live with the guy. No. Mom please." I begged, afraid she would actually follow through.

"This hate you have for him needs to stop. You NEED a father. And he misses you. I'm at my wits end, Dean Winchester. What else am I supposed to do?"

"I'll do better. Please mom, don't send me away."

"I'll give you one more chance, but mess up again, young man, and I'm calling him." She turned from me now, to finish up the dishes. "We leave for church in twenty minutes," she added after a moment, and I knew that I didn't have a choice but to go.

…

Reverend Novak was in his late forties. He was a tall, thin man; with steel blue eyes and a thin mouth. His black hair was cut short and swept to the side. He stood beside the podium, the bible in his hands. He was reading a text from the book, like he did so every Sunday.

We lived in somewhat of a small town. Everyone either knew everyone or knew about everyone. I myself recognized most faces no matter where I was. This made it easy for Rev. Novak to use things that happened through-out the week in Sunday preachings.

Last Sunday he preached acceptance. William Masen (a teenager from one town over) was murdered a few weeks ago. Really, it was bullying gone wrong. He was an openly gay boy and while here we were all pretty open minded about things like that, it wasn't so for the surrounding towns. Sure, some people here still didn't accept it, and when Rev. Novak announced that he was for marriage equality they left his church and opted to drive thirty minutes to a church just out of town. There were also people from other towns who drove even longer to attend this church.

Anyway, because of William Mason's death, he preached acceptance and how god loved all his children. He told us that we were all the same in the eyes of the lord. Today he preached change. That we could all change. He talked about how god had saved Benny and he hoped that those of us involved in the incident understood the magnitude of what had happened and that Benny's life could have be forever lost.

I shifted down in my seat, feeling uncomfortable as his eyes scanned the crowed. When those eyes landed on me, I felt sham warm my skin. I didn't really know if I believed in god and I hated being stuck here every Sunday, but I was made to go, and no matter how badass I was, I did my best to never disrespect my mom, but when those eyes stared me down, I felt the weight of his faith settle over me. I took a sigh of relief once those eyes left me.

I knew it was close to the end when he started telling everyone about different community events. It was early September and that was the time of year when people started to get together more. I never went to these gatherings and neither did most of my classmates. It was usually the adults, and small children who enjoyed the children activities and the poor teens who were forced to attend.

As always, we ended the morning with a couple songs sung by the church choir. I looked up now as they sang and my eyes went straight to the bluest of blue eyes I had ever seen. Castiel Novak. I had known him since Kindergarten. It was when we arrived at this town. Mom fled here after my father left us.

Castiel was the Reverend's son, and probably the reason Rev. Novak was so open minded about things many other religious people are so against. Castiel is openly gay, or at least that's what they say. I may have had almost every class with him since kindergarten, but I have never taken time to get to know him. We were different kinds of people. He was big on god and attended church events. I didn't.

Castiel was tall like his father and had the same black hair (save the grey streaks his father sported) but that was where the resemblance ended. They both had blue eyes, but the shades were different. Rev. Novak's blue was more grey then Castiel's were. Castiel's eyes were as blue as the ocean. He had a soft face, with creamy skin. The man was beautiful, though I would never admit it out loud. But none of that is the reason I stared now. No, it was Castiel's voice. I could always pick out his vocals from everyone else's. He had the strongest singing voice. It was the voice of angels. So there I sat, every Sunday, memorized by him.

* * *

The next day at school, I met up with my friends like always. We liked to hang out on a bench in front of the school, only going in when the first bell rang. We would always take our sweet time getting to class, and that meant we were always arriving to class late.

"I can't believe you were actual jail," Anna said, as I joined them.

"What did you tell them anyway?" Gabe asked, as he checked out some cheerleaders that walked by.

"I told them I was out for a drive. Found Gibson, tried to help, and when I heard the cops I got scared, and decided to split before they thought I had a anything to do with it."

They all laughed as Gabe said, "I gotta say, you are the grand master of bullshit." We fist bumped like we did when happy about something, and laughed some more.

"Castiel Novak sure can dress," Hannah said, sarcastically. We all looked in the direction she was looking in and sure enough there he was.

"Yeah, he's had that sweater for years," Anna added on. I had the feeling she never like Castiel, though I never knew why.

"You know, it's the quiet ones that can surprise you. He could probably fuck you so good you can't walk straight after," Gabe said. "Might be ripped under all that." We all laughed again.

"You look good in that sweater," Anna said, to Castiel as he walked by. Cas might not have caught the condescending tone in her voice, but I did, and it really annoyed me.

"Thank you," Castiel replied in his sweet manner. He gave her a smile as we walked by with a box that held what looked like nerdy stuff. They all laughed again as he finished walking by, but I could only smile. Behind his back I could make fun of him with the others, but to his face? It was like I didn't want him to know how awful of a person I was. For some reason I wanted him to think better of me.

* * *

During second period I was summoned to the principal's office. Principal Crowley gave me the disappointed look I always received from him. "I'm being told," he said leaning back in his chair, "That you and your friends were drinking at the dance on Friday," He said, then paused as he put a couple of empty whisky bottles on his desk. "Then you go off and Benny Gibson almost ends up dead. Benny isn't talking and the company isn't pressing charges. Lucky for you the owner is my cousin."

I didn't really know what to say, so I simply looked at my folded hands.

Principal Crowley stood now. "I told him I would make sure you got punished. That's enough for him. For now, anyway."

"What? You going to expel me?" I cut in sarcastically. I made it sound like I didn't care, and if it wasn't for my mother, I probably wouldn't have, but a small panic spread through me.

"Not quite yet, but you keep going down this road, and I might," Principal Crowley replied. His tone implied that he was losing his patients. "You keep down this path, and your life with be hell. I've known most your life, and I will do my best to keep you from that path. From now on, you will attend all your classes, on time. You will also help the janitorial staff."

"How much will I get paid?" I asked, no real hope in my voice.

"Your payment will be the growth it hopefully brings," Principal Crowley replied. "On Saturday mornings for the next three months, you will tutor disadvantage students at our sisters school." He added, souring my already bad mood. "Lastly, you will be joining the drama club. Being involved in their next event.

"The winter play?" I scoffed with disgust. What the hell was I going to get from that?

"I'm not trying to torture you, but it will be good for you to experience different things. Hanging out with different kinds of people. He paused and looked at me meaningfully. You know, that look parents give you when they really want you to understand them? "Don't blow it Dean. This is the last chance I can give you. Don't lose your chance to graduate so you can look like a hot shot for your friends."

* * *

As angry as I was, I had little choice but to comply. To be honest, I wasn't as badass I portrayed myself to be. My friends didn't much care what their parents said. They do what they wanted, to whomever they felt they wanted to be their victim. I was as much to blame as them. I sat back and watched it happen. I even joined in at times. I wanted to fit in, so I did what they did. But I actually cared about my mom's wishes. Even if I always fell short of fulfilling them.

So that very day after school I found myself hobbling around, my crutch under one arm, a broom in the opposite hand. I was in the gym, where different groups were having sign-ups, and get-togethers. This was the place I did my best to avoid my past three years of hell, but here I was. At least I had my headphones. My music drowned out some of the noise.

Slowly I made my way around the gym with the big weird looking broom. This was my last stop for the day, thank god. I slowed a bit when I got in ear shot of Castiel. He was part of a planet group that was meeting here. He was talking, but I couldn't hear him over my music, so I turned in down in time to catch him saying, "It's a simple device made out of plastic wrap, a coat hanger, and white out. Does anyone know what it is?" Castiel asked, as he held up the device.

"It's a star frame," I replied, before giving anyone else the chance to do so. He glanced at me, his blue eyes locking on to mine for moment. I interrupted because I wanted to impress him. I wanted him to know I wasn't as dumb as people thought I was, but this look told me he wasn't impressed or even amused. This exchanged bothered me, but I shook it off like I did most things. Why did it matter what Castiel Novak thought of me?

He turned from me, giving his attention back to his peers. "That's right. This is a star frame, and It will help you locate stars and planets with your naked eye."

Behind him I saw Mike and Gabe walk in, and Mike mocked me by pretending to sweep with a goofy look on his face. I rolled my eyes in return. I had hoped they would have just left. It was humiliating for them to see me like this. Not that they actually seemed to care. I started walking over to them, as they approached me.

They walked by Castiel, who was still speaking and Mike leaned in close to Castiel. "I bet you can see angels hanging around up there," he said as he walked by. Gabe laughed along with Mike.

"You knew even Einstein believed. He said that the more he studied the universe, the more he believed in a higher power," Castiel replied.

Mike looked slightly annoyed that Castiel actually replied, but he quickly recovered with a comeback. "Well, if there is a higher power, why is it he can't get you a knew sweater?" Mike and Gabe both laughed. And all I could do was roll my eyes.

Castiel smiled. "He's too busy looking for your brain." he replied.

"Oh shit! Burn baby!," Gabe said, laughing. Mike was not amused.

" Hey, laugh," I said when they looked back to me. "It was a joke."

"Yeah whatever," Mike said. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

"I can't," I reminded him.

"Come on. Principle Crowley's gone. Let's get out of this hell hole," Gabe added.

"Come on," mike added in a tone you might use on a dog. "Come on," he said again, walking away with one of my crutches.

I laughed as I looked around the room to hide the fact that he was upsetting me. I looked at Castiel, who was looking at me. He looked away, releasing me from the feeling that came over me. With a sigh I looked back to my friends. I really wished they would just let me be, but instead, I followed them from the gym. For one, I needed my other crutch back, and Mike would have taken off with it, and for two, I didn't want to them to think I was afraid of getting suspended. Even if it was true.

* * *

We liked to hang out at a local park, so that's where we went . They also liked playing a game called 'would you rather'. There was nothing wrong with it, but today it really bothered me. In fact, a lot of things were bothering me recently.

"Would you rather screw Mrs. Hart or Ms. Shoemaker?" Gabe asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ms. Shoemaker. She is h.o.t." Balthazar replied.

"I don't know," Mike said, shaking his head. "Have you seen the ass on Mrs. Hart?"

I personally didn't have an opinion one way or the other, so I stopped listening. Instead, I let my mind wander. I was a senior in high school, and I couldn't see past Friday. My little brother Sam knew exactly what he wanted in life, and he was four years younger than I was. He wants to be a lawyer, and he has the brains for it. I make the joke that I got all the beauty, while he got all the brain.

He was also the good one, while I was the trouble maker. He just didn't find the need to fit in the way I did. Or maybe it was because the people he wanted to fit in with happened to be the good kids. Either way, Sam was the one our mother didn't have to worry over. I did my best not to worry her, but I often fell short.

Anyway, so I had no idea what I wanted to do. Well, nothing outside of getting out of this stupid town. Maybe go to a city. Something with more life to it.

"Dean?" Anna asked, waving her hand in front of my face.

"What?" I asked, grabbing her hand to stop the waving.

"Who would you rather spend a whole year with? Castiel Novak, or Principle Crowley?" Hannah asked. Mike laughed stupidly, kissing her hand.

I looked at them, my cheeks growing slightly red. "Castiel Novak," I replied, adding a shrug to hopefully make them not make a big deal of it.

"I would pick Principle Crowley. If I have to pray every night over dinner I would die," Gabe said dramatically.

"Castiel's cuter," Anna argued. "And maybe I could talk some fashion sense in to him."

"I don't think that will make anything better," Hannah teased. "He' too religious for my taste. I bet he's never even had sex."

I looked away as anger bubbled in my chest. There wasn't anything wrong with Castiel and I wouldn't have any problems spending a year with him. Not that I would ever say it out loud.

At the time, I felt like my feeling for Castiel were a little sudden. I felt like I was changing and I didn't know why and I didn't like it. But looking back, I knew that I had always had a crush of Castiel, and I had been changing for a while, I just didn't want to see it.

They chatted on, moving from people we knew to celebrities, then on to less pleasant things like, how you would rather die. I watched the falling sun and was thrilled when Hannah's mother called, demanding she come home. I slowly stood, stretching as I went. "I should get home too."

"Can I get a ride from you?" Anna asked. She gave me a flirtatious smile.

"Yeah," I replied, giving her the most platonic smile I could manage.

Anna didn't live to far from the park. She chatted about how Hannah was having problems with Mike. She loved the guy, but he always seemed to get angry for no reason. Anna loved gossip. Me on the other hand could go without. I nodded and put all the "Mm-hms " and "Yeahs" in the right place, but that's all I had to say on the subject.

"We're here," I said, as I pulled up in front of her house. She looked at it, then back at me with another one of those smiles.

"Wanna Netflix and chill? My parents won't be home for a few hours," she said, practically batting her eyes.

I looked away from her, trying to hid my annoyance. How many times are we going to go through this? "Come on, Anna, nothing's changed"

"I know," she responded defensively. " I just."

"We're over," I added, not letting her finish her sentence.

"Whatever," she said, giving me attitude as she got out of my car and slammed the door. Her red hair swayed in the wind as she ran into her small yellow house.

I sighed as I put the borrowed car into drive. She knew where I stood. And if she couldn't handle that, it was her own problem.

I drove away feeling annoyed with her. She was a clingy girlfriend which is the biggest reason I broke things off with her. I don't mind a little clingy. It's always nice to know that someone wants you, but she got too crazy with it, and was jealous of everyone. So I ended things and she was still trying to cling. I really hoped she got over me soon.

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

**…**

**Chapter three**

**…**

Saturday mornings I would usually sleep until noon. However, at eight in the morning I woke to the sound of my mother's voice calling my name and telling me it was time to wake up. "Dean. It's time to wake up. Dean. Rise and shine, love."

I groaned in response and opened my eyes. I was momentarily confused. "No school," I said, closing my eyes and intending to go back to sleep.

"Tutoring," my mom reminded me. I groaned again, but slowly sat up.

"This sucks," I complained grumpily

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time," my mom replied. She patted may arm before leaving me to get dressed, and I wondered if she was enjoying my being tortured. Traitor. I dressed slowly, then had to skip breakfast because If I waited any longer to get outside I would miss the bus.

Tutoring was just has horrible as I thought it would be. Luckily I was smart enough to know what I was trying to teach, but the kid I was working with wasn't even trying to understand the math. It was hard to teach somebody who was unwilling to learn.

"Okay let's try this again," I said, sitting straight in my seat. I used the most optimistic tone I could muster. "Which of these are similar triangles?" I asked. "Out of these four?" I added, using my pencil to indicate which four I was talking about. The kid barley glanced down before shrugging. "Come on, you can do it?"

"This is stupid! He replied angrily, shoving away from the table. He stormed from the room, leaving me alone.

I put down my pencil, feeling aggravated. "Well there's that."

With my "student" gone I had to sit there for the next half hour doing absolutely nothing. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my Saturday. Hell, I would still be sleeping at this hour, but I would have rather been hanging out with my friends, than to be here.

I huffed as I put my head down on my folded arms. I figured that I might as well sleep here if I couldn't in my bed. Sleep never came. Castiel was tutoring at the table behind mine, and I couldn't help but listen. Again, that voice of his had me under a spell. I couldn't understand why, but at the moment it didn't matter. What mattered was I had the opportunity to listen, and I took it.

…..

Once I was on the bus that was going to take me back home, I took out my headphones to listen to my music. I never much cared for silence. It always left me feeling like it was going to eat me alive. I could see Castiel join me, but I chose to pretend like I didn't notice. I might have been interested in him, but my friends would never approve, and there approval was vital.

"Hey," he said to me with a smile. I glanced at him for a second, my eyes drifting to those kissable lips, before looking back out the window. "Do you want to buy some raffle tickets to win four tickets to the amusement park?" Castiel continued on. His tone was light and conversational. When I still didn't respond, Castiel continued, "We are trying to raise enough money to buy Jefferson tablets for students to use, and replace some of the older textbooks."

I glanced up at him again and gave him an irritated look. "No," I said, before looking out the window again. I really wished he would just leave me alone. I didn't want his company.

Castiel was only silent for a moment before he began speaking again. "I saw Louis leave. I know he can be difficult, but he isn't stupid. Try to teach him from a different angle. Once he gets it, he will soar through." Castiel suggested. Did he ever give up? I wandered to myself. I continued to look out the window, pretending he wasn't there.

"Are you going to go see Benny Gibson?" He asked after a minute of silence. I continued to ignore him. It was my best option. However, Castiel was either dumber than I thought, or didn't care that I was clearly ignoring him. "Guess not," Castiel tacked on. Que more silence from me. "You do know that they moved him from the hospital to the rehab place on Oak street? He said his chances of walking again are good, though it will take time." Castiel asked.

"Is this your idea of small talk or something?" I asked agitated. Getting Benny hurt weighed heavily on my mind. We hadn't meant for him to get hurt. So the fact the Castiel was drilling me about it was pissing me off. "Because if it is, you need to work on your social skills," I added on. "Nobody made him to jump."

Castiel looked at me, slightly appalled. "It's called peer pressure," he said, his tone slightly judging.

"Did you read that in your stupid book?" My tone was rude as I gestured to the bible on his lap.

Castiel looked down at the book, and caressed the edges of it. He seemed a little hurt by my comment. Truth was, he got a lot of crap because how strongly he believed in his religion. "You know nothing about me." Castiel said. He looked at me with kindness and it threw me off a bit. I was sitting here being a dick to him, and he was still looking at me with hope.

"Oh I do. I do," I said, keeping my dick tone is place. "We've had all the same classes in the same school since kindergarten. You're Castiel Novak." I smiled unable to stop myself. I'm wasn't sure why saying his name outload made me smile, but it did. "You like reading out loud, and read for fun. You run your hand through you hair when anxious. You have one sweater. You like to look at your feet when you walk." I looked away, then remembered something else. "And for fun you tutor on the weekend, and hang out with the cool kids from the stars and planets. How does that sound?" I asked, my tone cocky, and my smile in place.

Cas nodded. "Predictable," He responded. It didn't looked bothered at all by what I said. It was like he knew all those things made him an outcast and he didn't give a shit. I envied him that. "Nothing I've heard it all before," Castiel said with a shrug. "People should really learn some new lines."

"Don't you care what people think of you?" I asked, my cockiness wavering a little. I didn't understand how people didn't care about what others thought of them. I always cared what people were thinking about me.

"No," Castiel said, shaking his head and smiling. "The only person I have to please is myself." He got up and went back to his own seat. I watched him go, feeling as if my insides were being turned inside out. It was a moment that made me feel like Castiel may be one of the most adjusted people I had ever met. That made me feel a little discomforted. I didn't like knowing that one of the schools "outsiders" was better than me.

With a roll of my eyes I put my headphones back on and looked out the window. I let the music distract me as the bus sped towards home.

* * *

The rest of the weekend was uneventful, as was Monday during school. However Monday evening was another extension of my hell. I had to be involved in the winter play (which was forever away) and I wasn't looking forward to making props or whatever the hell it was that I would be stuck doing for the next few months. At this point being expelled seemed like the better option except for the fact that it would break my mother's heart. She didn't ask a whole lot of me, so finishing school was something I really needed to do.

Gabe gave me a ride to the community center where they were having the auditions and play. It felt like I was looking at impending doom. "I don't know what your problem is man. Ms. Garber's got a hot body. I wouldn't complain," Gabe said as he gave me my crutches.

I looked at him, questioning is sanity, before getting out of the truck. "I can't wait to see you in some stage make-up," Gabe went on. "It's gonna be kinda cool," he added with a laugh.

I closed the truck door, then leaned into the open window. "Just be back in an hour, okay? Don't leave me hanging," I said, ignoring his jokes. Gabe made some comments as I walked away, but I chose to just laugh and continue walking.

By the time I got in to the room, Ms. Garber was already speaking. Everyone was sitting or standing in a circle. The moment she saw me she stopped speaking and gave me a smile. "Mr. Winchester, I'm glad you were able to join us." She waved to an empty seat. I took it without speaking, and wished that everyone would stop looking at me.

"Our winter play is a lesson in acceptances and bullying. We will be telling the story of a gay boy who wants to desperately fit in, and the football star who falls for him. This story was written by our very own Charlie Bradbury." There was a round of applause, and I rolled my eyes. Yay.

Ms. Garber started giving rolls to people. Apparently there had already been auditions. Everyone giggled and high-fived as they got their rolls. Castiel was playing the gay boy, Jonas, and apparently he was hoping for the role judging by the smile that crossed his face.

I watched him smile out of the corner of my eyes, and for a split second I wanted to smile just because he was happy. "And Mr. Winchester will play Ethen, the football player." I looked up at Ms. Garber in surprise.

I let out a nervous laugh and sat up straighter in my seat. "What? No. No," I said in disagreement. "See, I didn't plan on acting or anything. I'm just here to help paint stuff."

Ms. Garber smiled at me. "I realize that Dean, however Principle Crowley insisted you get the lead role, and since no one else has asked for that roll, I have no problem giving it to you. So I'm sorry, but you will be playing Ethen." She turned to the others and said, "Okay, why don't we read some of your lines?"

I slumped down in my seat grimly. Expulsion was looking better and better every minute. With a silent groan I took my copy of the play. We were instructed on which page we would start on and Ms. Garber read the stuff that sets the scene. Soon Castiel's part came up, and I had to pay attention because my line was coming up.

"What do you want? I've been humiliated enough today?" Castiel read, his voice full of emotion.

"Come on, just let me help," I read in a monotone.

"Just leave me alone. You and your friends are jerks and I want nothing to do with you!" Castiel read again.

"I'm not like that. Come on Jonas, give me a chance to prove to you that I'm different," I read, this time with a small laugh. There wasn't anything funny, but it reminded me too much of myself and that made me uncomfortable. My laugh got me a scolding look from Charlie, and a few others including Castiel.

"Mr. Winchester, are you purposely being bad at this?" Ms. Garber asked.

"Nope, I just naturally suck at it," I replied sarcastically. That got me a few laughs, and Castiel even smiled.

Ms. Garber ignored my response and said, "Okay, lets jump to the end." We all did as we were told, and luckily the rest of the session went by quickly.

....................

I shouldn't have been surprised that I was still waiting outside thirty minutes after Gabe was supposed to pick me up. Almost everyone else had left, and there I was, waiting like an idiot for a ride that was never going to show. Damn Gabe.

"You're going to be great! I know you will. See you tomorrow." I heard Charlie saying behind me.

"Ok but I'm still nervous." Castiel's voice replied.

I let out a frustrated sigh and looked down the street hopelessly. How was I going to get home now? I heard someone approaching and when I looked to see who it was, I looked away quickly. I wasn't in the mood to talk with Castiel.

"It really wouldn't kill you to try you know?" he asked.

"Actually it will, and I'm too young to die," I replied in my usual sarcastic tone.

Castiel let out a soft sigh. "Okay, so you don't care about grades or graduating, but you like school because you're liked by everyone and you know that you will most likely never be on top again?" Castiel said in a proud tone.

"That's thoroughly predictable," I replied. I had a feeling that Castiel could see right through me and I didn't like that. I didn't like feeling like an open book.

"You could be better you know," Castiel said, before walking away.

Annoyed, I looked at my watch again. Forty-five minutes late, and I knew that Castiel was my only shot at getting a ride home. Letting go of my pride I went after him. By the time I caught up, Castiel was already in his car. He looked up and saw me standing there. I knew he would listen to what I had to say when he rolled down his window. I leaned in a little, giving him my best charming smile. "Can you take pity on me?" I went on, explaining that my ride bailed and that I was stranded.

"Sure. Get in," Castiel replied. I went to the other side and hopped in.

"Thanks," I said, as we started down the road.

"Of course," Castiel replied. "Seatbelt," he said, before turning on the radio to some country music BS.

I groaned as I put on my belt, but once I was clicked in, I changed the station to my music. I looked out the window, and for a moment, I thought he was actually going to keep it on, but his song came back on. I looked at him as I changed the music back, and then looked back out the window. I will play this game all the way home is need be.

Castiel let out a sigh. "I forfeit," he said with amusement.

"Thanks," I replied. I looked for a moment, before turning back to the window.

"twenty-two," he said, causing me to look at him again.

I looked at him with a questioning expression. "twenty-two?" I asked.

"Twenty-two. It's to be friendly with someone I don't like," he answered with a smile. I looked at him for a moment longer, but then turned away. I was trying to decide if I should be offended by his comment. "It's a to do list that I have. Things I would like in this life."

"What? Like get a new personality?" I suggested.

"Nope. Like join the peace core. Go to a bee farm. Witness a miracle."

"That's ambitious." I interrupted, but that didn't faze him.

"Be in two places at once. Drive across country. Get a tattoo." He continued, as if I said nothing.

We were both silence as I waited for him to go on, but he didn't. Honestly I wasn't sure why I cared, but I had to ask anyway. "What's number one?"

Castiel smiled as he replied. "I can't tell you because then I would have to kill you."

I laughed and looked out the window just in time to see why Gabe had forgotten me. He was hanging out with our other friends at the diner we liked to eat at. They were all standing outside, so I bend over and down to hide myself. If they happened to see me with Castiel, I would never hear the end of it.

"Peer pressure," Castiel said as we drove past. I looked at him, but couldn't think of anything to say.

Once we were clear, I sat back up in my seat, and watched the trees pass. The rest of the ride was quiet. I didn't like that Castiel had pointed out the fact that we were all victims of peer pressure at one time or another. Once he pulled in front of my house I thanked him again, and abandoned ship as quickly as possible. Once I was at my front door, Castiel pulled away.

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…..

"Are you sure this is what you want? It's practically social suicide," Gabe said, reading the lines from the script. We sat on my front porch and Gabe said he would help me learn these stupid lines. I hated it, but I had no choice.

"I don't think I can turn away. You've changed me in ways… Aw shit." I broke off, unable to remember exactly what the next line was. I opened my book. "You've changed my life in ways I can't understand. What about you? Are you not worried about what your friends would think?"

"You know I don't care. I want you to bend me over and make sing…" Gabe broke out into laughter, when I looked at him with annoyance.

"Come one man. "I've got to learn this crap. The winter play is a big deal. There's going to be representatives from great art schools are going to be there. I don't want to screw it up for people."

"Man, you couldn't pull this off if you had two years," Gabe replied, his tone still light with laughter.

"I didn't write it," I informed him.

"Yeah, but you're the one who's going to make a dumbass out of himself in front of everyone."

"I don't have a choice," I reminded him sternly. "So would you just help me out, please?" This wasn't my idea of a good time or something."

"You know I'm just busting on you right? I will be the guy with the tomatoes."

I couldn't help but to smile at that. Hopefully he was joking about the tomatoes though.

We both looked over as my mom pulled into the drive way. My little brother Sammy jumped out of the car, and went to the back of the truck. "Dean. Boys can you help with these groceries?"

"Yeah," I called back after Gabe and I finished our handshake.

* * *

"I told Mrs. Missouri that I would have it done by the end of the week, so she gave me the extension, but I have to make my paper a page longer than everyone else's." Sam said over dinner. He had been sick last week, so he was making up work.

"Not that it will be a problem for you," My mom replied, her tone proud.

"No it won't be. I've already got most of it written. I did it at lunch," Sam replied, before shoving food into his mouth.

"How about you Dean? Anything interesting happening? How's Anna?" My mom asked. She was a firm believer in sharing our days over dinner.

"Same shit different day," I replied. I wasn't much into sharing my days. Partly, because I felt it wasn't their business, but mostly because I had nothing to share. Mostly the things I had to share, my mother wouldn't be happy about, and my brother shouldn't hear about. I didn't need him following in my shoes. The kid had a good head on his shoulders, and he could really be somebody.

"Language," My mom said shaking her head. She gave me a smile. She didn't like that I cussed, but she also wanted to give me freedom to be me. It was just one of the many reasons I loved her.

"Your father would like you boys for the weekend," she said, apprehensively.

"Well, I would have liked to have him growing up. I guess we can't always get what we want." I replied. There was no way I was spending the weekend with that man.

"Dean," mom said. She had always tried to get me to forgive him, but I couldn't.

"I'll go. We have a TV show to catch up on," Sam said, trying to defuse the tension.

I looked at him the way I always did when he agreed to spend time with our father. Sammy didn't have the same hatred for him that I did. "What could you two possibly have in common?" I asked.

"We have a lot in common," Sam replied, ignoring my sour tone. "You have a lot in common with him too. You just refuse to see it."

I stood abruptly, my chair scraping noisily across the floor. Anger filled me as I stared my brother down. "I have nothing in common with that loser. I would never abandon my family. Never." I walked away quickly, and closed myself in my room. I felt bad for snapping at Sam, but I hated talking about my father, and I wasn't a damn thing like him.

* * *

A week after trying to do my lines by myself, I decided that I was going to need help. Gabe was constantly a no show, and my other friends always made jokes, and I never got anything done. Anna offered to help, but that always made her get all awkward with me, and I didn't want that.

So when I saw Castiel at his locker in between periods, I knew that he might be my only hope. "Castiel," I said as I approached him.

Castiel looked over his shoulder at be before looking back into his locker. As I got closer I realized it was a book. Figures. "This is a first. I have known you for years, and you've never once said hello. You must need something."

I sighed a little, feeling uncomfortable. "I need help with my lines," I replied. Castiel grabbed his books and closed his locker before looking at me. That smile of his was in place as always.

"You're asking me for help?" Castiel said, surprise clear in his voice.

"Yeah," I replied after a second.

"Okay," Castiel said while nodding. "I'll put you in my prayers," he added, before he started to walk away.

I stood stunned for a second, but I quickly followed after him. "No, Castiel. I really need help."

"Have you ever asked anyone for help?" Castiel asked, talking over me.

I sighed feeling annoyed at him. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less. It wasn't like I was actually nice to him. If I where him, I wouldn't help me either.

"A request like yours requires flattery and groveling. It's not all about you," He explained as we walked down the hallway. I watched as people passed us. They looked at me, and many of them were surprised to see who I was talking with. I realized that I was putting my social standing on the line. "It has to be for the common good of everybody."

"It is for the common good," I urged on. "Charlie Bradbury deserves the best," I said, then sighed as I put my hands on my sides. "Please," I added, hoping it would help.

"Okay," Castiel agreed after a moment. "One condition Winchester."

"Okay, what's that?"

"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me," He said, soberly .

I laughed because it was such an odd and unexpected request. "That won't happen," I replied, still amused.

"Okay. I will see you this afternoon after school," He said, before walking away.

"Okay," I said as he walked away.

…

Later that day, I drove grumpily to Castiel's house. He lived in a nice two story house, in what my friends and I called the uppity neighborhood. All the houses here were really nice and all the lawns were green. I pulled in front of Castiel's house, and parked. I sat in my car, dreading the next couple house I would be spending with one of the most dull people I have ever met.

With a sigh, I got out of my car, and walked heavily up the porch steps. "Dean Winchester is coming here?" I could hear Castiel's father saying. It was a bit muffled, but I understood it just fine. He said something I didn't catch, but then I heard, "He's the worst kind of bully."

Castiel replied, but I couldn't make it out. I decided it was time to ring the doorbell. It was only a few seconds before Castiel opened it. He smiled at me sweetly and opened the door wider.

"Hey," I said, feeling weird. I had never thought that I would be willingly spending the afternoon with Castiel.

"Hi," he replied. We both stood there for a moment.

"Are we going to do this on the porch?" I asked with a laugh.

Castiel laughed too, then stepped aside. "Come on in."

When I first walked in, it was into a living room of sorts. It was nothing like my living room which held a TV. This one looked like a place you might sit in silence and read. That's probably what they did. If I went through the archway ahead of me it looked like I would be in yet another living room, but it was hard to tell from where I stood.

"My script is in my room," Castiel said behind me. I turned to see him starting to go up the stairs. "Get comfortable."

"Yeah," I replied, trying to sound like I was nervous as hell being here. "Not likely," I added when he was far enough away that he wouldn't hear me. My home wasn't anything like this.

I walked further into the living room. It held a piano and on top were pictures. Most of them were of Castiel when he was younger. There were a few crosses in between some of the frames. The last picture was one of Castiel as a baby. He was being held by a woman with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Castiel's eyes. She was a lovely woman.

I turned and saw shelfing. On the top shelf was a statue of Jesus' head and shoulders. I got closer, and decided that it was seriously creepy. "That's one scary looking…" I was saying as I was turning away. "Jesus!" I said, jumping back.

"No, Castiel's father," Mr. Novak said with a disapproving look. "Hello Mr. Winchester."

"Listen, Thanks for letting me come over." I said, because I didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't let you," he replied bluntly.

"Oh," I said. Wow, this was going well.

"Let's get one thing straight Mr. Winchester. You think that on Sundays, I don't see you from where I stand. But I see you. "He turned a little an nodded his head in the direction of the other room. "I'll be in my office. Just here," he added, as he walked into it.

As if on cue, I could hear Castiel coming down the stairs. "You ready?" he asked me.

I looked over at him. "Yeah."

Castiel lead me to the other room, where we read lines for about two hours. It was stupid, but I found that I liked watching his lips as he spoke. There was just something about the way his lips wrapped around his words that made him memorizing. And he simply had the voice of an angel.

I felt an impulse to reach out, and touch the back of my hand to his, and it unnerved me. I couldn't understand why he made me feel the way I did. It was unnerving. What was I thinking? I couldn't be into Castiel. I hardly know him.

The sun started going down, and Castiel's father insisted we wrap things up. I didn't even realize that we had been doing this for a little over two hours. Time just flew by. I closed my copy of the play and stood, stretching as I went. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Castiel look at the part of my stomach that showed between the waist of my jeans and the bottom of my shirt. I stretch a little longer then I needed, just to give him a longer look. I liked his eyes on me, and again, it took me by surprise. What the hell was going on with me?

"Well, this was fun," Castiel said, as he stood. He gave me a smile, and I smiled back.

"Yeah, I thought so too. So, same time tomorrow?" I asked. I really hoped we would continue this. Castiel was nothing like my friends, and it was honestly refreshing.

"Yeah, I would like that," Castiel replied, a shy smile at his lips.

They both looked up as the front door open, and Mr. Novak stuck his head out again. "Castiel." was all the man said.

"I know dad," Castiel replied, his cheeks reddening a little with embarrassment. He looked back at me. "So tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, tomorrow," I replied. "Bye, Cas," I said, as I turned to walk away.

"Cas?" Castiel's voice said in question.

It was my turn to be flustered. "I, um. Yeah, I just figured," I stopped talking and shrugged. I hadn't meant to give him a nickname. It just happened.

"You're not the first person to call me that. Just didn't expect it," Castiel said. "Night," he added, before going into the house.

I stood there on his porch steps for just a minute longer. I felt suddenly alone without him around. With a sigh, I went to my car, and got in. I told Gabe I would meet up with him after I finished "helping my mom." Part of me wanted to bail, but I needed to be around my friends. Hopefully, they would help me feel like myself again.

….

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

….

The next couple of afternoons went about the same as the first day had gone. I found that I was really into this whole acting thing, and I really wanted to be good at it. But not for me. I wanted to prove myself to Cas. God I felt like my whole world was changing, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be better than I was.

At sundown we said our goodbyes, and I met up with my friends, but I found that I really didn't care for them. They were so loud, and rude. We were at a hamburger joint, and they were mocking a waiter. A few weeks ago I would have been laughing along as the jokes were thrown around, but lately, I just felt sickened by it all. How had I become this person? How had I become someone so mean?

I was in a sour frame of mind as I drove home that night. I couldn't help but be pissed at my past self, and I searched my mind to find the exact point that I had become a dick. Was it when my father left? Was it when I had become friends with Michael? Was it sudden? Or had it been a gradual change?

Up ahead, movement caught my eye. Someone was heading into the cemetery, and as I drove closer, and my headlights hit the person, I realized that it was Cas. "What the hell?" I asked myself aloud, as I pulled over.

I got out of the car, and quickly followed behind him. "Hey," I called out, and Cas spun around, clearly surprised. Once he saw who it was, he added a smile. I just looked at him for a moment, just taking him in. Where his eyes always this blue?

We just looked at each other awkwardly for a minute, until Cas gave him a questioning look. "What are you doing?" I asked, when I realized he was waiting for me to speak.

"What are you doing?" he countered

"Is it normal for you to walk through a cemetery alone at night?" I asked. I really didn't like the idea of him out and about by himself. It just didn't seem safe.

Cas simply shrugged, and turned away as he replied, "Maybe."

I shook my head a little. "Wait, really, what are you doing?"

Cas turned back to me, turning on his flashlight, and shining it at me, blinding me a little. "Follow me and maybe you'll find out," his said, his tone sounding a little flirty. Or maybe I just hoping he was flirting.

I hesitated a moment, feeling that maybe I should walk away. The more time I spent with Cas, the more I seemed to be falling. But damn me, I wanted to know. I wanted to know what compelled Castiel to come here so late at night.

By the time I caught up to him, I watched as he set something up. "Okay?" I asked, curious. "What is that?"

"This is my telescope," he replied, proudly. He smiled now. "I built it when I was twelve."

I gave him an impressed look, and I truly was impressed. This telescope was pretty big, and Cas built the thing at the age twelve. "Take a look," Cas encouraged.

I looked at him a second longer, before doing as he instructed. The night sky through this thing was amazing. I hadn't known there were so many stars. I straightened back up, and put my hands in my pockets. "Saturn, right?"

Cas smiled some. "Right." he confirmed.

"Pretty cool."

"Yeah. I'm planning on building a larger one, so I can see the comet Hyakutake. It comes this spring, but nobody knows when it comes back. It's something I don't want to miss." Cas face lite up a little as he spoke.

"Ah, natures miracles," I replied. I looked over at him, and realized that I must have said it in a sarcastic way. I hadn't meant to, but I still doubted the faith Cas believed in. "I get it," I added, hoping to smooth things over.

"Get what?" Cas asked, his tone defensive.

Shit, clearly it hadn't helped. "That you believe in miracles. God."

Cas looked at me now. "I, I have my beliefs. I have faith, but, don't you?" he asked me, throwing me off guard a little. I never thought I would be talking to him about religion. Didn't he guess that I wasn't the type?

"No. No I don't," I replied honestly. I looked up to the sky. "There's too much bad shit in this world for me to believe in that stuff."

"Without suffering there would be no compassion," Cas argued gently.

I looked back at him now. "Yeah well, tell that to those who suffer," I countered.

Cas let out a soft frustrated sigh, and shook his head. "God works in mysterious ways. Sometime the best thing he can do for someone is to let them struggle. He wouldn't give you anything he didn't think you could handle."

"A lot of people believe that the very god you believe in will send you to hell for being gay. How can you have so much faith in a book that condemns you?" I asked.

"I don't believe in a book, I believe in god," Cas replied. He sighed a little. "The point is, I have faith that god loves all his children. Including you, Dean Winchester."

I looked away from him now, and I had to admit his passion was admirable. It must have been nice to be able to believe in something full heartedly. I liked that Cas had his faith. "We will have to agree to disagree," I stated. There was no point in getting into this debate. There was no proof one way or the other.

Cas nodded slowly, before looking into his telescope. I couldn't help but watch as he observed the night sky. He seemed so content, looking up at the sky. I looked up, trying to understand his amazement. To me, it was just the sky, nothing more, and that bothered me a little. The fact that simple things such as looking up at the night sky didn't mean anything to me.

"Do you do this often?" I asked, feeling odd just standing here, but I didn't want to leave.

"A few times a week." Cas blushed a little. "It's calming to me."

I laughed a little. "You're surrounded by the dead," I reminded him.

"Yeah, that's the point. They don't find the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter."

I nodded, a smile still at my lips. Well, he had a point, didn't he? "You're something else, did you know that?"

Cas pulled away from his telescope, and looked up at me. "Is that supposed to be a good or bad thing?"

"I meant it in a good way. Not everything I say is meant to put someone down," I replied, my tone seeping with frustration.

Cas just stood there for a moment, looking at me with those blue eyes. I felt like he was x-raying me or something. I was about to ask him what he was doing he just smiled. "I knew I saw something in you, Winchester.

I looked to the ground, clearing my throat. I honestly had no idea what to say to that. "Yeah, well," I replied, running my hand over my hair. "I actually need to go," I said, starting to get uncomfortable with the urge to take his hand. We said our goodbyes, then I got the hell out of there.

* * *

Two weeks of practicing with Cas, and I had to admit things were going very well. I was getting better at the whole acting thing, and I was finding that I looked forward to my afternoons with Cas, and My friends had no clue I was spending time with him. Again, everything was going smoothly.

At least everything had been going well until Cas had found me hanging in the halls of the school with my friends. We always found ourselves near one of our lockers. Honestly is was almost like we were a pack of wolves, and not very nice ones at that. Anyway, he walked over to us, and I paled. I didn't want them to know about me hanging with him, and I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well.

"Here comes the only virgin in school," Hannah said, crossing her arms as she referred to Cas.

Gabriel chucked to her comment and added, "Here comes your leading man." and managed to get his elbow into my side.

"Hey, Winchester," Cas said with a breathtaking smile. "We still on after school?"

I looked at him for a second. His black hair was messy, and he was wearing that damn sweater he always wore, even though it was warmer today. He held a couple books to his chest, and that questioning look on his face made me want to smile, but I couldn't. My friends where hear. Fuck me, I thought as Cas, and my friends all stared at me, waiting for my response.

I put on a cocky smile, while trying to look at Cas with pleading eyes. "In your dreams," I replied, and the crushed look on Cas' face killed me. He however recovered quickly, as my friends snorted and snickered behind me. With a small smile and a nod, Cas walked away, and the laughter around me grew louder.

The bell rang, and everyone made nasty remarks as we all separated for first period. I ignored them, the best I could, and was glad when I found myself sitting in first period, away from Gabriel, who had laughed about Cas all the way there.

I was a dick, I thought. Someone who doesn't deserve to spend his time with someone so pure as Cas. That man was truly a marvel. Something one should cherish, and I had just brought him down in front of my friends, and for what? Those losers wouldn't know a kind heart if they were smacked in the head with it. And I blew it. How could Castiel forgive me now? I have totally and completely fuck things up. With a sinking feeling I closed my eyes. Please let there be a way to fix this, I begged the universe. Please.

That entire day, that look on Cas' face haunted me. I never wanted to be the guy to put that look on his face. Jesus what was happening to me? It was starting to become clear, and that scared the hell out of me. I was starting to fall for the guy, and I didn't know what to think. All I knew was I needed to apologize. I needed to make things right.

That afternoon I went to his house, a whole speech planned out, but the second I started up those porch steps, the who speech disappeared. I had to swallow before I could knock on his door. I had to knock a couple of times, because I could hear Cas playing the piano. The noise stopped, and a second later he was opening the door with a smile that disappeared the second he saw me. Cas lingered in the door way for a second before closing the door in my face.

I cringed, and leaned against the door jam. "Come on Cas," I said, knocking a couple more times. "I'm sorry okay. I…Please open the door"

The door opened, and Cas quickly stepped out, causing me to have to stumble back. "What do you want, Winchester?"

I was momentarily unable to form words. "You're mood hasn't improved," I replied, to give myself a moment to think.

Cas cocked his head to the side a little. "You don't miss a thing," he replied irritated, but calm. "What do you want? I'm busy."

"Well, I thought we could run lines." I said, feeling weird. Cas knew why I was here. He wasn't stupid.

Cas' expression shifted into excitement. "But only if no one knows? Like, it's a secret?" he asked.

"Yeah. You know, we can surprise everyone when I don't suck opening night," I said, also smiling. Was he actually going to forgive me?

"So, we could be like, secret friend!" Cas said, a smile in place.

"Exactly! I replied excitedly. "It's amazing, it's like your reading my mind."

"Great, um. Maybe you could read mine," Cas replied, The excitement on his face turning into anger.

I closed my eyes just for a moment. Shit, I really am a piece of shit. What was I going to say? Cas started back into his house, as I struggled for words. "Cas. We can't just be friends!"

Cas was in his house now, hidden a little behind the door. "Dean, I thought I saw something in you. Something good, and redeemable. I thought you were different, but clearly I was very wrong." He closed the door then, leaving me to feel like the world's biggest idiot.

"Damn it!" I shouted, frustrated with myself. The front door opened, and Mr. Novak stepped out, his hands on his hips. "Sorry," I said, is I went down the porch steps. I didn't look up at the house as I got into the car. I just got out of there before I started to do anything stupid. I had blown it, and I felt sick at the way I treated Cas. He deserved better than that. Better than me.

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

**….**

The next month felt like I was walking through hell. Cas wouldn't even look at me, and I missed spending time together. His absents felt like I had lost an old friend who had died. But it was worse than that because I saw Castiel every single day. I would see him at school, then at tutoring on Saturday, and church on Sunday, plus the play rehearsals

At least in tutoring I scored a win when I was able to get through to my student by visually showing him similar triangles versus an Isosceles tringles by taking him outside and using the basketball hoop as one point and the two of us as the other two. Seeing the way his eyes lit up when he understood was a great feeling.

The rest of the month I spent pining for a man I shouldn't want, and couldn't have. Being without him open my eyes to the fact that I liked him, and not in a friend sort of way. That realization really hit me when I was looking though an old year book. At first I had just thought I was just feeling nostalgic, but once I got to the page with Cas on it I knew I had opened the thing because I needed to see him.

I worked hard on my script because I didn't want to let him down. My mom and brother both ran lines with me, which helped a lot. I didn't bother asking my friends because they didn't know how to take anything seriously, which was getting increasingly annoying.

I wanted so badly to make things up with Cas, but I just didn't know how. How do you apologize to someone for using them? So I had to settle for stolen glances. God the man was beautiful, and I didn't understand how I hadn't noticed that before. We obviously had to talk during rehearsals, so those days became my favorite, because I could look at him without feeling like a stalker. I loved the blue of his eyes, and the way his hair always seemed just a little messy by the end of the day. I loved the way he would move about the stage with so much confidents it was contagious. Then there was his voice, which was blessed by the angels

Don't even get me started about just how good of a person he was. Seriously, the guy was an angel. He cared so much about others, I doubted there was a bad bone in his body. He went out of his way to help others. The other day, I saw him give someone his lunch, because they had forgotten theirs at home, and didn't have money to buy one. I would have offered to buy Cas lunch, but he wouldn't have let me.

My life felt like it was spiraling. I really didn't care for my friends anymore. I had lost any chance of being with Castiel, and the more days that passed, the more I felt like shit for what had happened to Benny Gibson. At least I had control over the last one.

It took a lot of courage, but I decided it was time to visit Benny in rehab and give him a long overdue apology. As I walked through the halls of the rehab center, my stomach turned. I was never good at the whole saying sorry thing. But I needed it. I needed to hate myself a little less.

When I got to his door, it was sitting open, so I just stepped in. He was watching what looked like a Three Stooges episode. He glanced over at me, then turned back to the TV disinterested.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," I said, gaining his attention.

He looked between me and the TV a couple times, and just as I thought he was going to ignore me, he replied, "Good for you." He looked piss, not that I blamed him. "You feel better?"

I shook my head. "Not at all."

"You know. I—I thought I wanted to be your friend. But now?" He shrugged a little. "I have no idea why I wanted to be. You guys are a bunch of assholes. "

We were silent for a few minutes, as I tried to figure out what to say next. I needed his forgiveness. "We all made that jump once. I belly flopped. Hurt like a bitch and told everyone I did it on purpose."

Benny looked at me again. "So, it really hurt?" he asked, hope in his tone.

I thought back on that night, remembering how I had gotten sick that night because of the pain. "Like hell."

Benny smiled a little. "Good."

We both watched the TV a few seconds, then Benny smiled at me again. "I will be out of here soon. I'm still not fully walking on my own, but I'm ready to be home."

"Yeah I bet," I replied with a smile. "Look man, I know I'm this dick in your head who ruined your life. But if there is anything at all I can do to help you, don't hesitate to reach out. I owe you, man."

Benny nodded slowly, clearly unsure of my intentions, but I meant what I said, and if he reached out, I would do whatever I could to help.

"So I will see you at school then?" I said, trying to break the awkwardness that once again settled

"Yeah," Benny replied.

We said our goodbyes and as I walked out of the building, it felt like I could breathe easier. I couldn't change what happened, but I could control what happened next, and that was a comforting realization.

* * *

Before I knew it, it was the end of November and the opening night of the play was upon us. I was nervous as hell, and Castiel managed to look more handsome than ever. Looking at him made me feel just a little chocked up. Everything was going great. I hadn't forgotten a single line, or missed a single cue. At least until the end.

It was during the big emotional scene that I completely fumbled. Cas had just started Fake crying, saying he couldn't take the bullying anymore. The tears that glimmered on his cheeks made it hard to breathe, and it broke my heart, even if I had known it was all fake.

I stood there, trying to remember my line, and I looked up at Mrs. Garber and Charlie, both of them trying to quietly prompt me forward. They were both mouthing the words "the song."

I looked back at Cas. "Will you help me understand?" I asked, saying the words that prompted the behind the scene guy start up the music. I know there was a few lines in between what Cas had said, and this, but it was what it was.

As always, Cas sang beautifully. His voice ringing out clear and strong. He sang about how it hurt that nobody understood him. How they treated him differently for being gay. How he wished everyone understood that he was just as they were. Human.

I had never heard the song in full, and it brought tears to my eyes. He made my skin prickle with emotion, and I could hardly resisted the urge to go to him as he moved about the stage. He ended the song, standing next to me, where he had started. Unable to resist, I brought him in close, and kissed him. I felt him tense for a second with what I imagined was surprise, but he loosened up, and thankfully kissed me back. Our first kiss.

The rest of the play went without a hitch, and I was glad when it was over. My friends where the first to tell me that I sucked, only to shake their heads and say they were just kidding. My mom hugged me, and quickly embarrassed me as she kissed my cheek. Sam told me that I should consider being an actor, which made us all laugh.

"Interesting rewrite you did out there Winchester," Charlie said, as she stood in front of him.

"I did my best, okay?," I replied.

"And your acting was really spot on. You did great." Charlie patted my shoulder. "Take it easy."

I smiled as I walked out to the parking lot, but didn't make it out of the building before I saw my father. "Dean, fine performance, son," he said.

"What do you want?" I asked, my tone unpleasant. I looked over at Sammy, who was giving me a pleading look.

"Your mother told me about it. I came to support you and hoped we could get dinner" he said, hopeful.

"No," I said, as I walked away.

"Dean, don't walk away from me!" he said behind me.

"You taught me how," I replied, venom in my voice. I really hated that my mom had told him. I just couldn't understand why she pushed him on me so much. I wanted nothing to do with the man.

* * *

The following Monday I decided it was time to try to make amends with Castiel. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I had to at least try. Somehow, Castiel's refusal to talk with me made me sick to my stomach.

I tried looking for him during study hour, but I found him a lunch. He was drinking chocolate milk, while reading a book. I sat without a word or invitation.

"People will see. Aren't you worried about your rep?" Cas said sarcastically. Hardly looking at me.

"What's that?" I asked, referring to the book he was reading, and ignoring is comment

He held it up so I could read the title 'To Kill a Mockingbird.' "I'm reading all the books on Mr. Rothman's list of contemporary American authors."

"And how many books are there?" I asked, shifting in my seat.

"One-hundred, but then there is his British list, and his European list."

Holy shit, I thought to myself. I knew that Castiel liked to read, but damn. I would never have that kind of commitment. "And is this on your bucket list? To read all his books?" I asked. For some reason, I loved that Cas had a list, and I was still dying to know what was number one.

Cas let out an annoyed sigh as he picked up his milk box. It was pretty much empty, but Cas drank it through a straw even though it made those annoying slurping noises. I moved, finding myself irritated. "Cas, I'm try to say sorry here" I said, trying hard not to let my irritation be known in my voice. "look I," I paused, because I couldn't believe I was saying this. "I think I miss spending time with you. I think that maybe you inspire me."

Castiel closed his book and looked up at me. "Sounds like you either have a problem or its bull"

"Which part sounds like bull?" I asked. Man that hurt. How could he not believe me? Oh right, it's because I've walked around school for the past few years being nothing but a douche. Yeah, that probably had a lot to do with it.

"Every part," Cas replied.

"Well, it's not!"

"Okay." Castiel said, standing and grabbing his bag. "Prove it," he added before walking away.

I sat there for a moment, debating on whether I should go after him. For just a moment I thought I should just let him be, but my heart gave a great thump in my chest as if it were saying "hell no!" I jumped out of my seat, quickly following Cas. By the time I caught up, he was half way to the parking lot of the school.

"Cas! Cas!"

"You have no idea how to actually be someone's friend. You're too selfish and self-absorbed. You have no idea how to be compassionate or empathetic." he almost shouted as I caught up to him.

"I can be, and what if I want to be more than just friends!" Did I really just say that?

Cas shook his head as he continued to walk. "You dont know what you want."

I did. I really honestly did. "Neither do you." I countered. "I think your just scared because someone might actually want to be with you."

He turned to face me now, anger on his face. "What? Why should that scare me? Don't be stupid, Winchester."

"Because then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your books. Or— or your freaking telescope, or your faith." He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arms stopping him. " No, no. You want to know the real reason you're scared?" There was moments pause where I felt like I could forever get lost in those blazing blue eyes of his. "It's because you want to me with me too."

His anger faltered a little bit, and that was the moment I knew. The moment when my suspicions came to light. Cas wanted me too. He walked away from me, and quickly got into his car. I stood there like an idiot as he drove away, unsure how I was going to fix this. Unsure that I even could.

* * *

"Oh yeah," Gabe said, as he turned up the music. "We're going to get this party up in here jumping real right," he said as he started to dance poorly to the music. It was Christmas break and I was trying to get my car fixed. I really hated driving my mom's back up car around.

I looked over at him from the hood of my car, and rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the mood for this. My mind was on Castiel, and I couldn't seem to get the guy out of my freaking head, which naturally was driving me nuts. "Can we turn down the techno just a notch?" I asked, as I put my focus back on my car. "Some of us are actually trying to work here."

"Oh come on," Gabe complained. "You can work with music. It's not like you're trying to study." He put up his hands when I looked at him impatiently. "You know it's all good," Gabe said, turning to the radio. "Cause you know what? We gonna get club Dean and club Gabe Really jumpin up in here." He put in one of my CD's "What do we got here?" he asked as the music began to play. The music rang out, and clearly took Gabe by surprise. "Okay?" he said. "Oh, okay, okay," he said sitting down. "You're not really feeling my hip-hop here, but, uh…Wha- what the hell is this, man?"

"Cas' music," I replied. "He lent me the CD." I should probably give it back, I added to myself.

"Now he's got you listening to his peoples music?"

"Okay, his people?" I asked, offended. I didn't like him talking shit about Cas.

"Yeah, uh, her bible-hugging, crucifix-wearing, honk-if-you-love -Jesus people," Gabe replied, being dramatic, as he walked over to me. He laughed, and that just irked me.

"He's not like that," I replied, not looking at him. My friend just didn't understand, and I was getting to the point where I could care less what they think. I loved Cas, and there was more to him than all of my friends put together. Cas was real. He didn't front about who he was. He was real, and honest, and caring.

"Well, uh. You got Anna believing that the little lip action between you and Cas was real." Gabe said in a tone that made it seem like him kissing Cas unscripted would be a tragedy. I had no response to him, so I stayed silent.

My silence made Gabe sigh. "What's going on with you?" He asked, getting pissed. "It's like you don't have time for us anymore."

"I don't know, man. I said, playing with the wrench that was in my hands. "I'm just over it," I added, knowing it to be the truth the second the words left my lips. I was so done with it all. "I'm sick and tired of doing the same old shit all the time."

"This guy has changed you, and you don't even know it, man," Gabe said in a disappointed tone.

I laughed as I shook my head. "All right, let me guess, Anna say that too?" And if I really did change, why would that a bad thing? I was nothing before but a bully.

"No," he replied. I looked at him, surprised by his answer. "I did," Gabe added. There was a moment of awkward silence before Gabe shook his head with a sigh. "Seriously? Why are you so caught up with him? Before he was nothing to you."

"Before I was nothing," I replied getting upset. "Before I was a loser. Cas is good people. I need good people in my life."

Gabe looked crushed, and I instantly wished I could take it back. "Fuck you!" he said, before walking to his car. "I don't need you anyway," he added before slamming the car door closed and speeding away.

…..

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…..

"It's Christmas," Sam said as he caught my trying to sneak from the house.

Christmas was our moms favorite holiday and she made the entire day special, including dinner. So I knew she would be upset if I wasn't there for it. "I'm only going to be got for twenty minutes. I just want to drop a gift off," I replied holding the bad up as if to prove myself.

Sam eyes it, then me. "Listen, Dad sent gifts and moms going to have us open them after dinner. Can you please not be an ass and just accept the damn thing?"

I sighed, but nearly smiled due to my little brothers use of profanity. It wasn't something often heard, and it always packed a punch when he used it. "Okay, I promise I won't be an ass." Those were my parting words as I dashed from the house.

Okay, so I know that this plan was stupid, but what else could I do? Cas wouldn't hear me out, so I was going to have to prove to him that there was something he saw in me. It's just buried underneath my assholiness. I pulled up in front of his house, and had to smile because Cas was sitting on the porch swing, reading a book.

Nervously, I got out of my car, Cas gift in hand. I know that buying him a gift wouldn't make him fall in love with me, but I hoped that at least it would jumpstart the healing process. As I approached him, Cas looked up. "You," he stated. There was no anger behind the word, but it wasn't welcoming either.

"Me," I replied.

We shared a moment of awkward silence before I held out the yellow gift bag to him. He eyed it with a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "What is it?" he asked, curiously.

"I got you something," I replied, stating the obvious. I held it out to him again, and this time he took it, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"Thank you," he said, without even looking in the bag.

I stood there a moment, but when it became clear he wasn't going to open it I just nodded a little. "Well, I will see you at school," I said, feeling unsure about whether this helped things at all.

Cas nodded a few times. "Okay."

As I walked away, Mr. Novak walked out onto the porch, and there was a quick greeting. I looked over at Cas just in time to see him pull out the sweater, and see the smile it put on Cas' face. Cas loved the sweater he always wore, so I hunted down one similar to it. The pattern was a little different, and this sweater was light blue instead of the pale green of the one he always wore, but that smile gave me hope that he really liked it.

As I walked to my car, I could hear the disapproval in Mr. Novak's voice, though I couldn't make out the words. Clearly there were two Novak's I needed to win over. As I drove away, I felt confident that the sweater was a good move. I just needed to figure out what I could do next.

* * *

"I talked to your dad today," My mom said, as I checked on the boiling chicken. I didn't look at her, so she continued. "He said he saw you at the play, for about ten seconds." I hated the disapproval in her voice.

"Yeah well, sending a check once a month doesn't exactly make him a father."

I heard her sigh, and knew she was going to push the subject, but before she could, Sam interjected. "Why can't you just give him a chance? He asks about you all the time, and he tries to be a part of your life. You're the one who's pushing him away."

"He left us Sam, nothing will change that!"

"Dean, there are a lot of reasons—" My mom began.

"He left us mom," I said, cutting her off. "There's no excuse for leaving your family." Which is why he was never interested in hearing his mother's reasons.

"We've forgiven him," Sam said, putting the now cut carrots into the pot. "You need to forgive him too."

Deciding that I've had enough of that conversation, I headed for the stairs. "One day you will understand." My mom said to me. "I just hope by then it isn't too late."

"Doubtful, I mumbled under my breath. I would never understand how you can leave a family.

* * *

Returning to school after the break was just like any other Monday. My friends goofing off, and looking at pictures Anna took at the play. They made mean comments on almost every picture, but I lost interest when Cas pulled up. I wanted to go to him, but felt a lump in my throat when I saw that he was wearing the sweater I bought him. Of course I had hoped he would, but it meant a lot that he did.

He walked by, and as he did so, we locked eyes. His ocean blue eyes making me feel like liquid. Jesus, how could anyone be that attractive? Before I could make a move, the first bell of the day rang, and unless I wanted more janitor work, I had to be on time to every class. Yay! Not.

By lunchtime I noticed that everyone was looking at a paper and snickering. I had no clue what it was about, and I didn't care. Cas and I shared a lunch hour, and I intended on making the best of it. I had just started up the long hall that lead to the lunch room when I saw that Anna had her arm around Cas, and I didn't like the look on her face. Something was up, and I had a funny suspicion that it included Cas.

By the time I arrived, everyone was laughing, and Cas was the center of attention. He turned to run, but I stopped him. "They did this because of me. This isn't because of you." I pulled off my bag, and put it at Cas' feet. "Wait here." I told him as I turned to face my so called "friends."

I roughly grabbed the paper from Anna as I approached Mike. "Hey, Man." he said, taking the paper from me, a smile on his face. "NO wonder you've been keeping him locked up, man. I had no idea that this," He said pointing to the picture of the buff man In a speedo with Cas' face photo shopped onto the body. "Was underneath all that," he said, gesturing toward Cas. Que more laughing.

I smiled too, but only because I was so pissed I wasn't sure what to do with the emotion. I knew that this was Anna's doing. It had to be, but I would never hit a woman, and I was pissed enough to his someone. I shoved him hard, and got one in return.

"Mike, Don't," Hannah said.

He turned on her, "You stay out of this." He turned back to me. "This is betwe—"

That's all he got out because my fist met his face. I was sick of him. I was sick of the way he treated me. Sick of the way he treated Hannah. I was sick of all of them. Mike rested his hands on his knees a moment, and for a second I thought he was going to hit back, but Balth got in the way. After shoving him away, Gabe stepped up, so Mike just looked at me with daggers. "We are done, Dean."

"Thank god," I said, turning my back on all of them. Thank god this was done.

"We are done forever!"

I ignored him as I walked over to Cas, and put my hands on his cheeks. He was still trying to hold back the tears that pooled in his stunned eyes. "You okay?"

He nodded as he whispered, "Yes."

I picked up my bag and as we left Mike was saying something about the fact that I was making a mistake. Whatever. Walking away from that group of bullies was the best choice I had ever made.

"Hey, Cas, I'm sorry," I said, really hating my ex friends for that they had done. Cas was good, and decent, and didn't deserve to be the subject of their cruelty. Especially because they are just pissed at me. Cas nodded. "They're assholes, all right?"

Cas nodded, but looked like he was just seconds from falling apart, and I felt lost I I tried to think of what I could say to make him feel better. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Those pricks, was all I could think. "Do you want me to take you home?" I offered.

Cas nodded his response. I put my arm around him, and was pleased he didn't shrug me away. "Let's get out of here," I said, leading him to my car. I opened the door for him, and as Cas slid in, I could see he needed a minute. I shut the door, and took my sweet time getting to the driver side. After looking at the tire for a moment, I opened my own door and got in.

"Thank you," Cas said, in that soft tone he used. I looked over at him to find him giving me a smile that stopped my heart.

I started the car, then took his hand in my own. "Those guys, they. They don't just how shitty they are. You deserve better than that, Cas. I'm sorry." With that, I put on my seat belt, and pulled out of the parking lot.

"My father doesn't really liked you," Cas informed me, as we drove.

I looked over at him, giving him my half smile. "Yeah, I know."

I glanced over at him long enough to see that he was blushing.

"He thinks you're only after one thing."

"Yeah? And what's that?" I asked, not that I really needed to know. Cas stayed silent, and the unanswered question grew awkward between them. Did Cas think I was only after sex? I mean, in the past, sure, I was a bit of a player. But not with Cas. Cas was it. The real thing, love in the shape of a human.

"That kiss was…"

Cas trailed off and I felt a little sick. The tone of Cas' voice wasn't reassuring. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that," I said, even though I really wasn't.

"No," Cas said, shaking his head. "It was…nice."

Okay, my turn to blush. "Thanks."

"It was certainly unexpected," Cas went on to say. "I never thought my first kiss would be so unexpected. Or in front of half the town."

I had to glance at him again. "First kiss? No way," I said, honestly surprised. How could Cas have never been kissed? Sure he was a little different then a lot of people our age, but he was in groups with people just like him. How had no one kissed him before.

"Mm-hmm," was all he said back.

The rest of the ride was silent, and before I knew it, we were parked in front of his house. I just sat there a moment, a thousand things running through my mind. "Are you sure you're alright?" I had to ask just one more time.

Cas nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." Cas gave me a smile. "Thank you for everything," he added, his smile growing a little bigger.

"You're welcome," I replied. I wanted to tell him there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him. I wanted to tell him that I would love to protect him from everything and anything from this point on, but figured it would probably freak him out some. Hell, it freaked me out some. Gabe was right, he had changed me. My entire self was shifting to a better version of me. One I felt that I could honestly be proud of.

Cas moved to get out of the car, but I stopped him. "Hey. Uh…" Okay, que the nervous stumbling through words. "I wanna a-ask you something." I let out a nervous laugh as I mentally cured at myself.

"Okay?" he asked, looking a little unsure. He settled back in the seat, and just looked at me with those blue eyes.

"Will you go out with me? On Saturday night?" I I asked, happy that it came out in one even sentence. My insides were turning as I waited for his response.

"Um," He replied, and my heart sank a little. "I can't."

Knife. In. Heart. "Oh…So, you have a boyfriend… or something?"

"No, Um… It's not that."

Okay? "Then what is it?"

Cas looked a little embraced. "I'm actually not allowed to date."

I tried to keep my expression blank, though I'm not sure I succeeded. "Oh," was all I could say.

Cas said his goodbyes, then quickly got out of the car. I felt bad that I seemed to have embarrassed him. That wasn't part of the plan. I put the car into drive, and as I pulled away, my mind was made. I will just have to convince his father to let me date his son.

* * *

I can't tell you exactly how much courage it takes someone to walk into a church and look up to a man (who has probably looked down on you your entire life) and plead with him to let you take their son out on a date. I'm usually very confident, but as I walked up the steps to the church I felt sick to my stomach.

When I entered I found Mr. Novak where I expected he'd be. He was behind the wooden podium he placed his book, and lessons on. He was speaking out loud, and taking notes at the same time. It felt rude to interrupt verbally, so I just started slowly walking up the aisle. He lifted a cup of what I assumed was water, and glanced up. His cup paused at his lips as a puzzled expression settled on his face.

"Can I help you?" He asked, taking the water away from his lips.

"Uh, yes, sir," I said, hating that I felt like I was going to be sick. Mr. Novak took a sip of water as I took another step forward. "I would like to ask your son to dinner on Saturday night."

"No, that's not happening," he replied immediately, then took another sip of water. He put the glass aside and leaned back over his sermon.

I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. "Well, with all due respect sir, I ask you to reconsider."

He looked back at me, now with an expression that said, 'over my dead body.' "With all due respect Mr. Winchester, I've made my decision." There was a moments pause before he tacked on, "You can, ah, exit the way you entered."

I stood there for just a moment, trying to find the right words. One thing I knew for sure, I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I knew that I haven't exactly been the greatest person, and Cas probably deserved someone way better than me, but I wanted the opportunity to be that person.

"I know that I haven't treated Castiel the way he deserves, and I'm deeply sorry for that. I only asking for the same thing you teach us every Sunday in church." Mr. Novak looked back up at me now. "And that's faith."

Mr. Novak gave me an exasperated look, but was defeated. After all, how can he dispute that? "You will have him home no later than ten, and I expect you to be a gentlemen. Are we clear?"

I smiled, unable to hide my joy at winning. "Yes sir," I replied. "I promise I will not do anything unholy." With that I turned and all but ran out of the church. I didn't want to give him time to change his mind. Later, I would laugh at myself for promising not to do anything unholy. It's not that I had planned to, nor did I expect Cas to be up for anything like that. It was just that I usually wouldn't say things like that.

* * *

"The Reverends son?" my mom asked as she placed chicken parm on the table, and took her seat.

"Dude, you've lost it," My little brother said as he twisted vermicelli on his fork.

"Stuff it, Sammy," I told him before looking at my mom. "He's nice, and I think that making new friends might be a good thing at this point in my life."

"You and Gabe have a falling out?" Sam asked.

I didn't respond right away. As pro que, I wanted to tell him to mind his business, but for some reason I wanted— No, needed to share. "Do you ever look around and just feel tired of the same old crap? Like, maybe what you've been doing for the past few years isn't making you out to be the person you think you might actually want to be?"

My mom's fork hovered over her plate as she looked at me, her eyes soft. "I think it's commonly known as growing up."

"Something I never thought I'd see," Sam said. "Ow!" he exclaimed because I gave him a swift kick in the shin.

"Well, then I guess maybe I'm growing. I'm just tired of being labeled the bully. It's even worse knowing I've earn my title. So yes, I'm going on a date with the reverends son."

…..

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…..

"I don't ever recall being this nervous," I admitted to my mom as I passed through the living room to the front door. She followed me, smiling wide.

"I think it's because for the first time you feel like you have something to lose." She patted my cheek. "It'll be okay."

"Yeah," I replied in nervous laughter. I really hope so. I have this whole night planned, I just don't want to disappoint him."

"I don't believe you will," She replied.

"Just keep that big mouth of yours from saying anything stupid and you'll do great," Sammy put in as he shuffled by, his nose in a book.

"Thanks, kid," I replied, as I rolled my eyes, before leaving.

The butterflies in my stomach had me feeling a bit sick as I pulled in front of Cas' house. He waved from his porch, before going back into the house. Trying to be a gentlemen, I got out of my car and started toward the house, but Cas was making his way down the porch steps before I could reach them. "Hey," I said lamely.

"Hi. You okay?" he asked with a hint of worry. That made me smile.

"I'm great. I'm just glad you didn't bail on me."

Cas laughed a little as I opened the car door for him. "I would never stand you up," he replied, before getting in.

I got behind the wheel and looked over at him. He was wearing the sweater I got him, and that pleased me greatly. He looked great in blue.

"What?" Cas asked, blush pinkening his cheeks. He proceeded to smooth down his hair.

"Nothing, I replied. "You're just really beautiful."

With that, I drove off to our destination. There was an outdoor restaurant on the edge of town that was said to be romantic. It was a little expensive, but I gathered all my savings, and according to my mom, I should have plenty.

"This place is so expensive, are you sure it's okay?" Cas asked, as he looked over the menu. His brow was creased in concern, and it made me love him even more.

"Get anything you want. Don't worry about the cost," I replied, just as the waiter was approaching them. He introduced himself, before asking if he could start them off with drinks.

"Sweet tea, please," Cas replied.

"Make that two," I added.

"This place is really beautiful." Cas said, looking around with a big smile. "I can't believe you asked my father to take me out."

I shrugged. "It wasn't big deal. He was pretty cool with it anyway."

Cas laughed. "Yeah, I bet he didn't need any convincing."

I laughed with him. It was nice. He had this laugh that was intoxicating, and it was the first time I had ever actually remember hearing it. Which was crazy, because I was sure he had to have laughed before. Maybe I just never really listened before. Or maybe Cas never truly laughed before. Either way, I swore that I would forever make him laugh this way. Open and true.

We talked over spaghetti and meatballs. Cas had all kinds of plans. He wanted to do everything. He had hopes, dreams, and plans. It made me realize that I had never really given any thought to my future. I was just floating around, going where the wind blew.

Before, this aimlessness didn't bother me, but as Cas talked about his hopes and wants it made me feel anxious to figure out my own future. Not for my own sake, but for his. I realized that Cas was better than me in every way. He was kind and smart. He knew what he wanted and had plans on how to get there. If he stayed with me, I needed to make myself worthy. Worthy to walk with Cas through life.

What was even more amazing, was Cas made me feel like I could. When I had told him I was aimless, Cas chuckled as he shyly reached for my hand. "You can do anything you want. I have every faith in you."

Those words reached to a place inside me I hadn't known existed. Those words that I hadn't been aware that I was starving to hear seeped into my veins, and from that moment on I knew my future wouldn't be aimless. I would make something of myself. I would be a worthy husband.

"Would you like to dance?" Cas asked as the dessert was cleared from their table.

I looked over at the dancing couples, feeling the blood drain from my face. "I, um." I replied stumbling over my words.

Cas chucked, the smile lighting up his face. "Don't tell me dancing makes you nervous?"

I laughed, though nothing was funny here. "I can't dance. Not even to save my life."

"Will you do it anyway? For me?" Cas asked, putting that smile in place.

Against my better judgment, I stood holding my hand out for his. I've seen enough movies to know that this was the right thing to do. Cas took my offered hand, and I lead him out to the floor.

Neither of us missed the fact that many eyes watched us as we danced. Or tried to dance. I stepped on Cas' foot more than once, making me warm with flush.

"Sorry," I said once again.

"I was warned," Cas replied as he looked over at the couple next to them who kept staring.

"Ignore them," I said, taking Cas chin in my thumb and pointer finger, and turning his face to me. "It's just us."

Cas smiled, this time a bit shyly, making my heart flutter. That smile was even more gorgeous. Sexy almost.

I didn't want the night to end, but I knew Cas could only sit in my car for so long before his father would show up, demanding Cas go inside.

"Will you go out again with me next Saturday?"

Cas looked at me surprised, but delighted. "Yes, I would love to go out with you Saturday."

With a light heart I walked around the car, opening his door for him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Cas' father looking out the window, so I took Cas' hand and gave his knuckles a quick brush with my lips. "I had a great night."

"As did I," Cas replied. He left then, pausing on his porch steps to wave at me, before continuing inside.

As I drove off, I couldn't help the smile on my face. I knew I would enjoy my time with Cas, but even during the dancing I was having fun. It was nice to feel as though I could open my heart to someone and not be judged.

There was more to Cas then I thought as well. He was everything I always thought he was, but he was so much more. His heart was bigger than I knew and his soul was deeper. He made no apologies for who he was, and anyone who didn't like it, he'd pray for.

I could never be as faithful as Cas. That much I knew. I wasn't on good terms with the man upstairs, and I still didn't really believe in him, but I believed in Cas, and if he wanted to believe in the man, who was I to stand in his way?

* * *

Later that night as I lay in bed, I felt hopeful. Hopeful for a future I'd never given thought to before. All I ever really knew was I wanted to get out of this stupid town, but I never thought beyond that. I never thought on how I would get out.

Mostly it was because I never believed I could. I was a nothing. A low life who couldn't see past Friday night. How could I amount to anything, but that night as I lay in bed, I knew. I knew I could do it. I could do anything if I wanted it bad enough. Cas had made him feel as though he could hold the sun if he wanted too, and that feeling, that belief was one of the many things Cas had given him.

…..

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…..

We laughed as we ran from the parked car down to the docks. The night hair was cool, and the moon was full, casting light onto the water. The water moved, making it look as though the light was dancing.

I took Cas' hand as I led him to the gazebo area I had set up earlier that day. Luckily this was one of the places that had access to power, so I brought some white twinkle lights my mom loved to put up during Christmas time, and decorated the space. I also packed a picnic basket, along with an old boom box and a cassette tape Cas said he'd loved when he was younger but couldn't seem to find anywhere. It was the only time I was thankful to my father who had bought me the cassette years back. Not that I was into country music, but this worked out well in the end.

"This is magical," Cas said as he looked around, clearly thrilled by what he saw.

I smiled, thrilled that he felt that way. I was never really one to pull out all the stops. People had always thrown themselves at my feet. Cas was different. I had to actually put in effort. Not that I minded.

We ate the sandwiches and chips I packed, I'm not much of a chef, and after took a walk. The wooden path followed all the way around the lake, and circled back to the gazebo.

It was that night that I knew without a doubt I was in love with Castiel Novak. As we walked, letting our echoing footsteps fill the silence, he took my hand. His was slightly smaller than mine, and they were soft, unlike mine which were rough from working weekdays at my uncles car shop. We walked like that, hand in hand, not feeling the need to fill the silence with idle chatter.

"How do you know?" I said, randomly breaking the silence.

Cas stopped walking, my question clearly pulling him from his thoughts. "How do I know what?" He asked.

"How do you know god is out there? How can you have so much faith in something you can't see?"

Cas smiled, making his way back to our gazebo, seemingly lost in thought. The wind blew, the cool breeze welcoming, and it rustled Cas' hair.

Cas stopped, looking back at me with another big smile as if inspiration hit. "My faith is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it, and so I know it's there." He came to meagain, taking my hand.

My heart skipped a beat. Not because I suddenly felt towards faith the way he did, but because in that moment my chest swelled with overwhelming feelings of affection. Cas was so sure of himself. So sure of what he believed that it made me feel hopeful.

"I love you," I confessed, the words slipping out in that moment of overwhelming feelings.

Cas' blue eyes grew wide as he let go of my hand. My stomach turned as he continued to stare at me as if I had told him I planned on killing him tonight.

I chucked as my nerves got the best of me. "Are you going to say anything? Or are you just going to continue to stare at me as if I've grown an extra head?"

I grew even more anxious as his eyes filled this tears. "I told you not to fall in love with me." He replied, his voice quivering.

I didn't understand this reaction. I had agreed not to fall for him, but I figured he had only told me that because he father wouldn't let him date, however that wasn't the case now. "I don't understand."

Cas shook his head as he looked away. For a moment I thought he was going to ask me to take him home. Fear rushed in as I thought about him telling me he never wanted to see me again. I wasn't sure how I could survive living without him now that he was in my life.

He looked back at me, and I braced myself for the goodbye, but the words that came out of his mouth were the best words I'd ever heard. "I love you, too."

I smiled, taking him in my arms. "May I kiss you?"

Cas chucked nervously. "I don't know. I might not be good at it."

"There's no way you can be bad at it," I replied as I caressed his cheek. When Cas leaned closer I took that as a yes and kissed him.

You know how in movies the main characters kiss and there's like fireworks and hearts and crap? I always thought it was so silly. Kissing wasn't like that. Boy was I wrong. Kissing Cas was like an explosion and I could spend the rest of my life with his lips on mine. However, all too soon, I pulled away. "See. I told you. There's no way you could be bad at it."

….

"What's this?" he asked as I pulled something from the basket.

"Tattoos. It's on your list, isn't it?"

Cas smiled, shaking his head. "You really are adorable," he said, taking the sheet of temporary tattoos from me. He looked it over before pointing to a bee on a flower. "I want this one."

I cut it out from the rest, and after Cas decided he wanted it on his shoulder I put it on him. It was funny that such a small tattoo could be sexy, and without thinking I kissed his should. I paused, looking up at him, but he only smiled at me.

"You like it?" he asked, shyly.

"I do, but do you?"

Cas didn't take his eyes away from mine as he replied. "I do."

I shifted, wrapping my arms around him from behind. He leaned into me, and I wished we could stay like this forever. I knew, however that I would have to bring him home soon, or his father would be upset. So we only sat like that a little while longer, once again falling into a comfortable silence.

Cas' father was outside waiting for him when we pulled in. I wasn't surprised due to the fact that I was a little late getting him home. Cas smiled at me sweetly before getting out of the car. I wanted to kiss him good night, but I knew he wouldn't let me. So I said goodbye, and waited until he was next to his father before driving off. I found I was looking forward to Monday when I would be able to see him in school.

….

"He was upset for sure," Cas told me on Monday. We sat outside, our lunch trays balanced in our laps. Today I felt Cas was looking a little run down, but he simply laughed it off and said he was just not sleeping much.

"Next time I will be sure to get you home on time," I promised. I didn't want Cas getting into trouble, and I didn't want the rev to stop me from seeing Cas.

"He's just worried is all," Cas replied, though he said it with a hint of annoyance. "I understand why, but I just…" Cas broke off as if he were saying something he didn't actually want to say. "I just wish he wouldn't worry is all.

"Well, what is he worried about?" I asked unsure why he would be so worried. They weren't having sex, and it's not like I could get Cas pregnant. Though he supposed STD's could be a worry, but I was clean.

Cas bit into his apple as he looked up at the sky. "Let's go see a movie Wednesday. My father is going out of town for a convention and he won't be back until late."

"Am I a bad influence on you, Castiel?" I asked, shocked he was willing to do anything without telling his father.

"I'm going to tell him I'm going to the movies. I'm just not going to tell him you will be there."

I chucked as I dipped a fry in ketchup. "Sounds like a plan," I replied before popping it into my mouth.

….

The movie was good, or at least that's what I told my mom when I returned home. In all honesty, I'm not even sure what the movie was about. I know it was a romantic comedy, but I only know that because Cas told me. We spend the majority of the movie making out. It was the first time we'd ever made out like that. It was a fond memory.

Cas missed school that Thursday. Told me he wasn't feeling well so after school I brought him chicken noodle soup. Just the canned kind, though for the first time ever I wished I knew how to cook. But Cas was thankful, and we sat on the porch swing as he ate it.

"I'm okay," he assured me as I was leaving. "It's just a stomach thing."

I wished I could have stayed, but I had chores and homework waiting for me. I kissed his cheek, and left, waving goodbye as I did so.

Saturday morning Cas told me to meet him at the cemetery later that night. He wanted to take his telescope out to look at the stars. It was perfect timing because I did something for him and what better way to tell him then this?

He had also asked me if there was any stars or planets I wanted to see, so after some research I decided on Pluto. The search also reminded me how little I actually knew about our solar system. Sure I knew all the basics, but I got sucked in reading an article about Jupiter's storm.

Anyway, so later that night I packed us a snack and some hot coco. I brought some blankets as well because it would likely get cold.

When I arrived Cas was already in his usual spot waiting. "Hey, I was worried you wouldn't come."

I smiled at him. "And why wouldn't I?" I asked, truly curious. Maybe he didn't know he was the best part of my day, or in this case, night.

Cas shrugged, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Did you decide on anything you wanted to see?" He asked as he helped me lay out a blanket.

"Pluto," I replied.

Cas laughed. Pluto comes out right before the sun."

"I know, that's why I brought this," I replied, holding up the basket, tilting it some so Cas could peer in.

"You're sneaky. You knew it didn't come out until morning."

"I did once I looked it up," I admitted.

Cas shook his head, but smiled. "Will you're mom be upset that you're out all night?"

"She's at work, but she won't mind much. How about your dad? Does he know?"

"He knows I'm here. He doesn't know you are."

He looked bothered by this. It was one of the things I loved about Cas. He was just such a good soul. "Can you find this star for me?" I asked, pulling the paper with the stars on it.

"Yeah," Cas said taking the paper from me. It took him a few minutes, but he found the star. He moved, showing it to me. "Why did you want to find this star?" He asked.

"I named it after you." I replied, showing him the official papers.

Cas laughed some as he took the paper and looked it over. "You did this for me?"

"I'd do anything for you." I sat now, opening the thermos of hot chocolate. Cas sat between my legs, leaning into me as he held his cup.

"I love you, Dean Winchester."

I swear my heart skipped a beat as a smile made it way on my face. "I love you too."

We fell asleep, missing the chance to see Pluto, but waking up with him in my arms was way better than looking at a planet.

"Can you do breakfast? Or do you need to get home?" I asked as we made our way to our cars.

Cas thought on it a moment. "I just need to tell my dad I'm going for breakfast, and I'm all yours."

He did that before getting into my car after I insisted. After passing all the restaurants in town, Cas pestered me about where we were going but I just assured him he'd love it.

Where I wanted to take him was about an hour away, but it would be worth it. And not only because the food was awesome.

"Come on, how far are we going?" Cas asked with a laugh.

"Not much further now," I assured him. I was also laughing because Cas looked so confused it was adorable.

I pulled over just before the restaurant, telling Cas to close his eyes. I helped him from the car, facing him away from the sign. "You can open your eyes." Told him. "Now put on foot here, and the other here," I added so that one foot was on the right side of the yellow line and the other foot was on the left.

Cas shook his head. "Okay, what's going on?"

"You are straddling the state line." I replied, receiving a baffled look from Cas which made me laugh. "You are in two places at once."

Once he understood, is face lit up. This expression was one that would also stay with me forever. I loved the way it made him glow when he was this happy, and surprised.

After a few minutes of him being in two places at once, we got back into the car, and drove three minutes to the borderline Café.

I knew about this place because my dad would bring me and Sammy here back when I visited him. It had been a few years, but the food was as amazing as I remembered and Mrs. Becky was as kind as always. She beamed when I introduced Cas as my boyfriend.

"I can't believe you found a way for me to be in two places at once," Cas said as he sipped his tea. "I hadn't figured out how I would achieve that one."

"I wasn't sure either, but it came to me as I was lying in bed. I was thinking about my father and how he used to bring us here."

"You don't speak about him often," Cas replied softly. His tone suggested he knew it was a sore spot. "What does he do for a living?"

"He's a doctor. When mom met him he was a mechanic, but he wanted more. She says it was all downhill from there. He got busy with school, and then his work." I stopped talking then. "Left when I was twelve. Hated him ever since."

Cas looked down at his food, clearly thinking something he didn't want to say out loud.

"What?" I asked, not wanting him to ever be afraid to say something to me. However I had a feeling where this was going and it annoyed me. "You think I should forgive him for being a shitty father? Excuse him for leaving us behind."

"I think that life is too short to hold grudges on those important to us. I remember seeing you with him when we were young at the church lunches. I could see the two of you were close. I don't think you have to forgive him. But I feel you should at least try."

I wasn't sure how to respond. The thing about Cas was he understood life in a way I never did. I couldn't find the beauty is a yellow rose, though they were his favorite. I couldn't marvel over the existence or bees, though he did. I couldn't believe in something I couldn't see. Couldn't touch. He believed.

"Did I upset you?" Cas asked, worried.

I reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Not at all. You just have a way of making me question things."

"And is that a good thing?"

"I think it is."

….

When I got home I found my mom out back at her favorite spot. She liked do her work out there because it was quiet and peaceful.

I walked up behind her, putting my hands on her arms as I said hello. She jumped, startled and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You scared me," she said, swatting at me.

I laughed still as I apologize. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Are you just getting home? She asked, observing my clothes.

"Yeah, I meant to send a text, but forgot," I said with apology. I really had meant to let her know.

"I'm glad I didn't know. I would have been worried." She picked up her papers, then realization hit her. "Were you with Castiel Novak?"

"Yeah," I replied honestly. Usually I didn't find the need to lie to my mother.

She looked at me with an expression that wasn't exactly disapproval, but close to it. "Dean, he's the reverends son."

"It's not like I can get him pregnant," I joked, then sobered. "But in all seriousness, it's not like that with him. It's not about sex, mom. I'm in love with him. I think…I think he might be the one."

"Is he behind this?" She asked, pulling a piece of paper from her pocket. "I found it while doing laundry." She looked at the paper. "Go to college. Make a discovery, go to medical school." she said, reading his list of things to do

"I can do it, mom. I know I can. Cas makes me want to be better. He makes me better."

"These are amazing ambitions, but they will be a lot of work."

I nodded. I wasn't upset with her for being unsure of me. I never showed interest in such things and my track record wasn't good. "I know it won't be easy, but I know I can do it."

She smiled, looking proud of me. It was the first time I could recall receiving this look from her. I'd seen her look at Sam like that, but I was always at the end of her exasperated looks. I liked being looked at like this.

"If this boy can make you feel like you can do anything, I like him even more. Just remember that in the end, you need to be doing this for yourself."

"I know," I replied, though my stomach did a small little flip. Just the idea of not being with Cas forever made me a little uneasy. I couldn't imagine not being with him now that I had him.

"Why don't you go gather you're brother? I want to get you both a few new outfits and maybe go for dinner."

….

My mom gave me a wakeup call. I did want these things, but hadn't given much thought to how I would get them before. So from that day on I really applied myself. I walk to my school consular about what I had to do to be sure I graduated, and how I applied to collages. She gave me some really great advice, and luckily, my grades weren't completely horrible, so I could turn it around. Also, sending an essay with my applications about why I got serious for collage apparently was a good idea, though I thought it was silly.

That didn't matter though. If she thought it would help, I would do it. I was serious about what I wanted, and Cas was there every step of the way, keeping me on the right path. I didn't know it then, but everything I will become, I owe to him.

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…..

School was going better than ever. Mike and the crew were still not talking to me and while I did miss Gabe, I really didn't care about the others. It was a relief actually.

I wouldn't say I felt more like myself, because I actually felt like I was in some kind of transition. Like I wasn't who I was meant to be yet, but I was certainly getting there.

One thing I knew for sure was I wouldn't be in this transition if I had continued hanging out with my "friends." I would still be hanging out with them if it weren't for Cas, so I supposed he was the one I should thank.

I rolled over when my phone dinged. For a moment, because I was drifting off to sleep, I was going to ignore it, but thought better of it.

I couldn't help the smile when I read Cas' name. I swiped my phone open and read 'Are you free spring break? I always go to my mother's cabin by the lake and was hoping you'd go?'

'What about your dad?' I replied.

'He avoids the cabin at all costs. My mom's death is still too painful.'

I started to get really excited now. 'How long will we be gone?'

'From Friday after school to Monday afternoon.'

Four days and three nights alone with Cas, hell yeah I was in. 'Sounds amazing, I'd love to go.'

'Perfect. You can follow me there after school in your car. It's about a forty minute drive. I'm excited :D'

'Me too, now I can't wait for this weekend.'

'Me either. I love you.'

I love you, too.'

* * *

I wanted to tell my mom the truth about where I was going and with who, but if I told her, then I'd have to tell her that the reverend didn't know I was going and she would have to do one of two things, know the truth and potentially have to lie for me, or tell the reverend. Neither option was good, so I told her I was driving to the beach with Gabe, which we would usually do so it wasn't farfetched.

"You know she knows that you're lying right?" Sam said as he sat on my bed Thursday night.

I looked at him, slightly annoyed. "What are you talking about?" I replied, playing dumb.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Why lie? Do you think she would mind if you were going away with your boyfriend?"

I thought on it a moment before closing my bedroom door. "You rat on me and I will kill you myself," I replied, sitting on my bed next to him. "And I know mom would be cool with it, but the rev wouldn't be and Cas didn't tell him I was going."

Sam nodded. "So you lied to mom so she could be innocent if the truth came out?"

"Exactly." I wasn't really concerned that Sam would spill the beans, though it did suck that he knew because I would worry just a little.

"You really care about him, don't you?"

"More than I've ever cared about anyone. Except you of course," I added, ruffling Sam's hair which needed to be cut.

Sam swatted at my hands before fixing his locks. "I'm glad. You seem happy. I like seeing you that way."

I was happy. In the past, I had thought I was happy, but it turned out I had no idea what happy was. Yeah, I had fun moments with my friends. I laughed and played. But I wasn't happy. Not like this. Every day I woke with a feeling of…well I wasn't sure exactly what the feeling was. It was too complicated, but I liked that feeling.

"I am happy. I really am."

* * *

It was raining when we got to the cabin. We grabbed our things, or what we could, and made a mad dash to the door. By the time we got in and dropped out bags we were soaked and laughing hysterically.

Once we got ourselves under control I looked around. The kitchen/living room/dining room combo looked like one might expect. Everything looked handmade, very well done, and made of wood. The living room featured a lard stone fireplace, though I later learned there was a pull out TV.

The kitchen was large and I couldn't help but think my mom would love to cook thanksgiving dinner here. The kitchen had plenty of counter space and the table could seat at least fourteen, though there was only nine chairs around it now.

Past the living room there was a little nook that had all glass walls and it looked out to the lake which currently mirrored the stormy sky. There were cushiony chairs that looked like they would feel like clouds and a table with a few books on it.

"It's beautiful," I told him as he lead me over to the stairs.

"My mom was an architect. She designed this place herself."

Cas stopped at the first door on the landing. "This is the full bath, there is a half bath on the first floor. Over here, he said walking to the left is my room," he open the door to a spacious room that echoed the feeling of down stairs. "You will be staying here," he said, going to the room across the way.

The room I would be staying in also echoed downstairs, though this room was accented with green. A highland green that was actually quite nice. The room had glass doors that lead to a balcony that faced the woods. The love seat looked as welcoming as the chairs downstairs and the little fire pit begged to be used.

"Over here," Cas said, pulling me to the other side. "This is my parents room, which I'd rather not go into, however," Cas went to the door across from her parents room. The room was also double doored like her parents room. When Cas opened them, I could almost touch the excitement radiating from Cas.

This room was a library. It looked like one of the once from the classic movies. The floor to ceiling oak bookcases with a ladder to help get books from the top shelves. There was a desk with an older computer. Once again cushioned chairs. Floor lamps that looked like antiques. Actually everything in this room looked antique.

"This is my favorite room in the house," Cas said beaming.

I chuckled. "You don't say?" I asked sarcastically. Cas loved to read so it was no surprise that this would be his favorite room.

Cas gave me a side smile as he shook his head. "Well I guess I should get dinner started."

I followed him down to the kitchen, kind of surprised that he was cooking dinner. I had brought money assuming we'd vibe doing takeout. "What's for dinner?"

"Blue cheese steak with roasted rosemary and garlic asparagus and seasoned baby potatoes." Cas replied.

"Wow." I smiled at him, my chest warming. I have never had blue cheese steak nor have I tried asparagus before, but the fact that he would put so much effort into our meal made me feel good. It was like a conformation that he did love me. Or at the very least cared. "That sounds amazing."

Cas beamed, clearly glad I thought so. About ten minutes later I was booted from the kitchen because I was trying to help and Cas was not having it.

It wasn't surprising to find that Cas was an excellent cook. Everything was full of flavor and cooked just right, and after dinner I was surprised with a pie.

We spent that evening in front of the fire while Cas read The space between us out loud. Usually I wouldn't care for reading or listening in my case, but I loved Cas' voice and the story really did catch my attention.

I sat between his legs, my head resting on his stomach, and my legs hanging over the arm of the couch. One of his legs were between me and the couch, the over wrapped over me so his leg was resting over mine.

I was content to find myself like this with him, though it did surprise me. I hadn't thought he would be comfortable with this, yet it was his idea.

At bed time, we said our goodnights before going our separate ways. I dressed for bed after a quick shower and was just drifting off when I heard a knock at my door.

"May I join you?" Cas asked sheepishly.

"In bed?" I asked, needing that clarification.

"No funny business," he replied, stepping into my room. "I just…" be paused, clearly feeling awkward about whatever this was. "I don't want to be alone."

"Sure" I replied as my heart pounded. I scooted over, giving him space.

"No funny business," he said sternly before climbing in and cuddling close.

He smelt of soap and the cologne he used that I didn't have a name to. It was a scent that suited him well.

"No funny business," I promised, however I couldn't promise that I wouldn't get turned on. The thing between my legs has a mind of its own.

"Do you believe in miracles?" Cas whispered into the dark. His voice quivered as if he were scared.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to my chest. "I'm starting to. Do you?"

Cas didn't answer right away. He turned so he was facing me. He kissed my jaw because that's what he could reach, before pressing his forehead to my chest. "I believe they exist. I'm not sure I'll witness one though."

I said nothing in return because I didn't know what to say. This conversation was a little…sad? Dark? No, it was deep, I think. Cas sounded like he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders and I didn't understand why his mood had changed so drastically from early this evening to now. So I just held him, and kissed his forehead now and again until he fell asleep. I followed just minutes after.

* * *

I woke the next morning alone, but the intoxicating scent of bacon and pancakes had me following my nose to the kitchen.

Cas was there, bare chested and his pajama pants were sitting pretty low on those glorious hips. For a moment I wondered if he'd lost a little weight, but Cas leaned over, giving me a soft kiss, making my mind go blank. I wondered if I would ever get used to the tenderness. I had never had this with anyone else.

"Good morning sleepy head," Cas said lightly as he added a pancake to the pile. "I made bacon, pancakes, and I will be making toast. What kind of eggs do you like?"

"You don't have to do all this you know," I told him, feeling a bit strange. I didn't want Cas to feel like he had to take care of me.

Cas smiled sweetly. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. So tell me what kind of eggs you would like?"

"Dippy eggs."

Cas giggled. "Dippy eggs? Do you mean sunny side up?"

"Is that the kind where the yolk doesn't get cooked?"

Cas laughed again as he nodded. "Yes it is."

"Then yes, I want sunny side up," I replied. "I can't believe you're making fun of me."

"I'm not," Cas replied, laughter still in his voice. "It's just really cute."

We bantered our way through breakfast, just enjoy each other's company. Again I was struck with how easy this was. How effortlessly it was to be myself with him.

After we finished, I did the dishes while Cas started dinner. Apparently it was pot roast and it has to cook slowly for hours.

I leaned on the counter, I was going to help, but he wouldn't let me, while he cut up a carrot. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"I don't have it all planned out, but I was hoping after I finish here, we could go for a walk on one of the trails."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

"It's beautiful land," I told Cas as we circled back to the lake. "Is this all your fathers?"

"The property is six archers, and it's mine."

I let out a whistle. Not only to how much land he owned, but that it was his.

Cas laughed nervously. "It was my moms, and she left it to me. It's been in her family for generations. The land, not the house."

"That's super cool. You're already one foot ahead of the rest of us." I was referring to the fact he had property and a house while everyone else our age would have to work hard to get that.

Cas took his hand from mine, looking put off. I hadn't meant anything bad by my comment, but before I could tell him so, he gave me a quick smile before running off toward the water.

Cas started stripping as he went, leaving his boxers in place. He laughed loudly when he hit the water. "Come on! The waters great!" He called to me.

I too stripped, though I couldn't help but feel this was so unlike him. He was usually much more reserved, and this just seemed odd for him. Still, I joined him, gasping when I hit the water.

"It's freezing!"

Cas laughed as he swam to me. "It won't take long to get used to it."

Cas was right. The water didn't take long to get used too, and we spent the afternoon swimming and playing. A few times we got out to take a walk or eat lunch. We laid in the grass for a while, just cloud gazing.

During our last dip in the water, Cas held on to me as we kissed. I couldn't tell you how long we kissed for, but when Cas shivered I pulled away. The sun was setting and it was getting cold. "Come on. We should go in."

Showers were a must before sitting to eat dinner, and I took extra time in mine, enjoying the hot water. The shower here was way better than the one at home. I would have to buy a shower head like the one in there. This shower felt like rain.

By the time I was out and dressed, Cas was asleep on the couch. I was about to wake him, but thought better of it. He looked so tired, even as he slept, and that worried me. So I let him sleep, deciding dinner can sit on the warm setting and be fine for another hour or so.

I made my way to the fridge, pulling out the grapes we were munching on earlier. While dinner could wait, my stomach demanded food now. So I snacked on the grapes as I watched tv with the volume down.

Every so often I would look at Cas, my chest warming. It just amazed me how in love I was with him. I could see our whole future, and I couldn't wait for it.

…..

Cas woke an hour later, complaining to me about letting him sleep. After he was done, I watched with a smile on my face as he made the gravy using the juices from the meat. It surprised me how easy this meal was to make, and made me feel dumb for even thinking this meal was hard. Unsurprisingly, dinner was amazing.

Later we sat on the balcony to my room, the fire lit, and the two of us cozied together on the couch. The night was cool, though it was spring, and the warmth of the fire was welcome.

I sat there, feeling as though Cas was miles away. Since we arrived here, there were moments like this one that made me feel as though he wasn't here in the moment, but somewhere else.

"What's on your mind?"

Cas looked at me as if he had forgotten who's arms were around him. That look only lasted a moment before a smile took its place. He didn't respond, but turned to kiss me.

I kissed him in return, knowing my question went unanswered, but couldn't bring myself to mind in this moment. He kissed me with a fire that had never been there before. I returned the heat, waiting for him to pull away, but he never did.

Instead of pulling away, he straddled me, running is hand down my chest to the bottom of my shirt. His hand then snaked up. I welcomed the touch, deepening the already deep kiss. My brain fogged over as I got sucked into the moment. My own hands found his hips, and rested there.

He moved his hands down, and once I realized he was unbuttoning my pants I broke the kiss. "Wait, what are you doing?"

Cas hesitates, blush coloring his cheeks. "Do you not want too?"

Hell yeah I wanted too. I was hard has a rock and the idea of him touching me had me already in the edge. Shit I was surprised I stopped him but… "It's not that I don't want to. It's just this doesn't seem like you."

"No," Rev. Novak's voice said from the balcony door. "I would say this isn't like you at all."

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

…

Have you ever been, or saw someone bungee jump? You jump off a high place, and a cord that stretches allows you to fall so far until it can't stretch anymore, and it flings you back up. That is what it looked like when Cas flew off me. It might have been laughable had our parents not been there.

"What on god's green earth are you doing?" Rev. Novak asked, hands on his hips and disappointment settled deep in his face.

"Rev. Novak, mom." I said standing when Cas only looked down in…shame? Guilt? Embarrassment?

"I've got nothing to say to you, Mr. Winchester. Please pack your things and get out of my house.

I looked over at Cas once more before doing what was asked of me.

"What were you thinking?" My mom asked as I packed. I didn't reply because at that moment Cas and his father were passing through.

I followed my mom out of the house, looking over to where Cas stood with his father.

"I am not a child, I'm eighteen." Cas said, his tone stern.

"And what do you think God would feel about this?" The reverend countered.

"He'd want me to be happy. Just like you should."

"You are acting as if you're in love."

Cas let out a frustrated laugh. "Dad, I am in love!"

"Then think about what you're doing and end things. Before things get harder."

I put my bag in the trunk wondering what the reverend was talking about. Why would things get harder? I couldn't shake the fear that Cas might actually end thing with me. I wasn't ready to stop loving him yet.

I couldn't dwell on that fear due to my mom. She didn't say a word, but you could cut the tension in the car with a knife.

"You lied to me," she said once we were home and the car was parked. She shook her head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because if I had told you the truth I would have had to tell you that rev. Novak didn't know, and you would either have to lie to him, or rat me out. Lying was my only choice. I'm sorry mom."

"I'm disappointed, Dean. I raised you better than this."

"I know. I really am sorry."

She sighed. "You're going to make this up to me. You're eighteen so I won't ground you, but you better find a way to atone for your actions." She got out of the car, slamming the door. Yeah. She was pissed.

As I grabbed my things, I could see Sam looking at my from his bedroom window. I sent up a prayer that he doesn't end up like me. Clearly I didn't know how not to mess up.

Still, while our trip ended horribly and abruptly, I will never forget our time there.

* * *

Cas and I had a whispered conversation that night about how neither of us were grounded due to both of us being eighteen, however, the feeling of being grounded was still present, so neither of us would push for leaving the house for a couple days, and we kept that conversation short. I had noted that Cas seemed sad and hardly spoke a word, but I assumed it was due to him getting into trouble with his dad.

However, when two slow and uneasy weeks passed with nothing more than the occasional "I'm okay" or "I'm just busy" text I really started to worry. Had I said or done something wrong? Was Cas finished with me? He had seemed off while we were at the cabin, but I just didn't think to worry over it too much. Maybe I should have, because I was going insane here not seeing him or hearing his voice.

It was almost funny in a way. Here I was, the one who usually broke the hearts, getting heartbroken.

I had thought once we went back to school last Monday I could see him and ask him face to face if something was wrong, but he never showed. Now it was the weekend again and I was starting to get a little pissed. He could at least have the decency to break up with me if he was done with me. For fuck's sake.

I all but dived for the phone that was on my bed when Cas' text alert sounded. I felt silly because I was nervous about what the text might say.

'Meet me downtown it twenty? I have something to pick up and I'd like to see you'

If anyone were here to see the smile spread across my face I'd probably be embarrassed. This text made me deliriously happy. Maybe things were fine after all. It wasn't like Cas didn't have a life outside of me.

As I drove downtown I felt more and more silly over how concerned I was. I mean, really, two odd weeks and I questioned our entire relationship? Apparently I still had quite a bit of growing up to do.

I parked my car, and headed for the first shop Cas said he was going into. Here all the roads were made of brick or something that looked like brick and all the shops and restaurants were small and cramped together. It was, after all, the oldest part of town, save a remodel or two.

Cas looked smaller than before. Had he lost more weight? "Hey," I said, pulling him in for a hug. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," Cas replied, though he barley hugged me, and when I went to kiss him, he evaded. I tried not to read into it.

We said nothing as we went into the first store. Cas bought his cologne here, so it didn't take long.

As we walked to the other store he took may hand. I smiled, but said nothing. Cas looked sad, and I was unsure what to say.

"You hungry?" Cas asked, stopping in front of Debbie's diner.

"Yeah," I replied, and followed Cas in.

"Have you sent out your collage applications? I'm about ready to send mine out, but I have to admit I'm really nervous."

"I'm not sending out any collage applications." Cas replied before sipping his tea.

"Oh," I said confused. "I just thought…"

"You assumed," Cas replied shortly.

"What do you plan to do instead?"

Cas shrugged. "I'm not really thinking anything."

"Why not? Are you afraid you'd be denied? Because you won't be. You're smart and you've done so many good things. They would be crazy to refuse you."

Our food came then, halting the conversation. I took a few bits of my food, but I couldn't tell you if it was any good. I was too busy watching Cas skid his own food around his plate instead of eating. I wasn't sure what this was, but I didn't like it.

"I'm sick," Cas said just above a whisper.

"Oh, okay." I replied, starting to stand. "Let's get you home."

"No, Dean," Cas replied, grabbing my arm and urging me back down. He seemed to struggle with what he said next. "I have leukemia."

I sat there for a moment, dumb struck. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I was diagnosed a few years ago. When I stopped responding to treatments they told me I should live my life to the fullest. I'm not going to get better."

My stomach turned as his words sank in. "No, you can't be…I don't understand. I…" Words failed me. My heart was breaking and I felt like I was going to be sick. What did this mean? It meant I was going to lose him. No, I couldn't.

"I'm so sorry. I know I should have told you sooner, I just didn't want you to be weird around me. You make me feel so alive, and with you knowing, it just feels horrible."

"You could have trusted me with the truth."

Cas nodded as tears slid down his face. I was doing everything not to cry myself. "I needed you to understand why I have to end things."

My head jerked up as I looked at him. "Wait, what?"

"I accepted this. I accepted my diagnoses and that I wouldn't live very long, and then you happened and…I can't keep seeing you because… I don't need a reason to be angry with god." Cas stood then, leaving the diner in a hurry.

I felt numb as I sat there trying to understand all of this. He couldn't die. He just couldn't. I stood, putting the money on the table. It was more then what was needed, but I didn't care.

I grabbed the bag Cas left, and started for my car. What was I going to do? How could this be happening? How could I stop this?

These thoughts ran through my mind as I sat in my idling car that lookedover the lake. I wasn't sure when I had driven there, but here I was.

It was nearing midnight when the thought hit me. I put the car into reverse and drove like mad for the state line.

I was surprised to find I still remembered my way to my dad's house, and when I got there I barely had the car in park before jumping out of it and running for the front door. In hindsight, there was no reason for my haste, but in the moment I felt as though I had to do this very moment.

I banged on the door hard with my fist. "Dad!" I yelled, while continuously banging. "Dad, wake up!"

After a few minute I gave up in frustration and started back to my car, but turned around when the door opened. My dad stepped out, looking worried.

"Dean, you okay? It's two in the morning."

I went to him, trying not to cry as my emotions seemed to want to over flow. "It's my boyfriend."

"Okay?"

"He's got cancer and I need you to help him. Please, you've got to help him."

"Okay," My dad said, holding his hands out as if to try to calm me. I will need to read his file and consult his doctors. I'm a neurosurgeon, so I'm not sure how much I can help."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Of course you can't help. Not sure why I thought you could." I snapped and ran for my car, pissed.

"Dean! Come on, let me…"

That was all I heard before slamming my door and revving my engine, cutting him off. I saw him looking baffled and sad in my lights, but I didn't give a shit. He let me down again.

On my way home I thought of Cas. I thought of our times together and the memories I had of him from before we got together. I thought of all the things I still wanted to do with him, and all the things we'd never get to do.

He wanted to leave me, but I wasn't backing down without a fight. I was scared out of my mind to stay with him. I didn't know what to expect from here on out. How sick would he get before he would be gone? How much time did we have? However it beat the alternative. If a little time was all I got to have with him, then that's all I could ask for. I wanted to stay by his side until the end.

* * *

The next day I skipped church and drove around to every flower shop with in an hour of me and picked up eleven dozen yellow roses. I wanted twelve, but Yellow roses weren't as popular as the others and it had to be yellow because those were Cas favorite.

I arranged the roses on Cas' front porch as appealing to the eye as I could. I was just done when Rev. Novak showed up.

I faced him, tired, but otherwise I shifted myself to stand straight and face the man.

"Dean?" Rev. Novak said, the confusion spear in his tone.

"I'm not going anywhere. I know he's scared, and wants to push me away, but please tell him that I'm not going anywhere." I was going to leave a note, but this was actually kinda better.

Rev. Novak nodded his head. "Alright."

I returned the nod before taking off. I hadn't been to bed yet, and my mom was bound to notice I was gone by now, and my phone was dead.

When I got home she was sitting at the kitchen table, and looked at me with sorrow. "I thought you'd be home hours ago. Your dad called me," she added on when I gave her a confused look.

I said nothing because my throat felt like it closed up, and the sob came from nowhere. My mom stood, taking me into her arms and I wept.

"It's unfair," I said as she held me.

"I know." She replied softly.

"I'm going to lose him. I can't stop him from dying."

She moved now, taking my face into her hands. "Then you make sure he lives while he's still here. Don't waste a single moment."

I nodded as I wiped at the tears. I won't waste a moment. She was right. If I had only a short time with him, I was going to live it to the fullest.

* * *

I stood, looking over the lake. I was at the place where I first told Cas I loved him. The cigarette I was smoke was actually being smoked, though I didn't plan on making a habit out of it. I still hated it, but I needed it.

I looked over as Gabe approach me. He gave me sad eyes and I knew he knew. "What are you doing here?"

"Your mom called me. She's worried. Are you okay?"

I shrugged. That was such a loaded question. I was as okay as I could be.

"You know you can talk to me. I'm here to listen."

"What is there to say? Cas is the best most deserving person I know and he's going to die on me." I took a puff of my cigarette. "And my best friend treated him like shit." With that I started away.

"Come on, Dean. I'm sorry okay. I was so wrapped up in it when it was happening I couldn't see how horrible it was. I'm sorry."

I stopped, my anger fizzling out. "I get that," I replied as I turned to him. "I've been there."

"Listen, just know I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm your guy. Cool?" He asked, holding out his fist.

I did the handshake with him, and I felt better. I really had missed Gabe. "Yeah we're cool," I replied.

* * *

The last part for my car finally arrived, so Cas found me working on the car. I was leaned over the engine when I heard his approach. I straightened, using the rag to wipe the grease from my hands.

"Hey," he said, a bit awkwardly. "I got your flowers."

"Figured you couldn't miss them," I replied. "Did your dad tell you what I asked him too?" It had been days since he'd left the roses.

Cas nodded. "He did."

I put the clothe down. "I meant it. I'm not going anywhere."

"This isn't like a walk in the park. Things from here on out will only get worse. I'll be sick and dying."

"I know that. But that doesn't change my mind."

Cas looked down at the ground. "I don't want you to see me sick." He looked back at me, tears in his eyes. "But I'm terrified of being without you."

"You won't ever have to be." I replied, taking him in my arms. "I love you, and I will be here through it all."

Cas kissed me, and I nearly melted. It had been way too long since we've kissed. I had to push away the thought that our kisses were numbered. I would have to focus on living in the moment. I would have to worry about the future after.

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

….

Okay, bees freak me the hell out. I'm not sure if it's the sound they make or the fact that they sting, but I don't like them. So when I found myself fully dressed in those bee suites and surrounded by thousands of the buzzing creatures, I felt a bit anxious.

I was crazy to be doing this, but the joy on Cas' face was worth it. He wanted to collect honey from the bees, and I wanted to give him as many experiences as I could. So when I discovered that this was on his list, I had to provide.

Still, I was happy when we finished with the bees and the bee farm was in my rear view mirror.

Cas laughed about how funny my face looked and how relieved I looked to be away. I let him laugh and joined him. I bet my face did look funny.

I eyed the jar of collected honey he held on him lap, before glancing up at his face. He smiled as he looked out the window, his eyes closed as the wind blew on his face.

These were one of those things I didn't want to forget. The way he smiled when he was content. The sound of his laughter. The way he looked at me. The way his hand felt in mine.

"You hungry?" I asked, noting that it was lunch time.

"Starved."

* * *

"So walk me through this," I said as Cas laid out all the stuff for the telescope he wanted to make so he could see that commit.

Cas proceeded to name everything on the table before explaining what each element does. I then got to look at the instructions of the build and was pleased to find that I understood it.

We spent about an two hours working on the smaller prices, and while I was gearing to continue, I rather enjoyed this, though I couldn't really know if it was Cas' singing or the project itself, but Cas was tired.

For a moment I always struck with worry. Why was he tired? Was it due to the cancer? Or was it normal everyday tiredness?

I stopped that line of thinking quick. I had learned that if I thought in it too long I ended up in a panic so bad it was difficult to breathe.

We spent the rest of the day sitting on my sofa and watching whatever cheesy movie came on the hallmark channel. It was afternoons like this that I was starting to love.

It was so different from way I used to spend my days, yet they were precious to me. I wouldn't change it for the world.

"I really like him," my mom said later that night as I helped with the dinner dishes.

I smiled. "I do too," I replied, knowing that I was blushing a little.

"I like how he makes you look. It's been a long time since I've seen you smile the way you smile at him. And he's kind and helpful."

"He's really smart too! Sam put in. "He really helped me understand the math I've been a little stuck on. Now I'll get through the rest of it with ease."

I smiled as I went to my room. It meant the world to me that my family felt that way. Because I was thinking of asking him to marry me, and I would need their support. I wasn't sure yet. Marriage was a big step, and I was unsure of it was the right move, but still, I couldn't help but think about it.

* * *

It was two in the morning when my phone woke me. For a moment I was annoyed that someone was calling so late, but my logic mind took over quickly and my adrenaline kicked into overdrive as a realized why someone might be calling.

I answered the phone, my heart pounded hard as Rev. Novak informed me that Cas was rushed to the hospital twenty minutes ago. He had passed out, and while he was awake now, things were looking rough.

I felt sick as I rushed to the hospital after waking my mom to tell her where I was going. As I pulled from the drive way I saw the kitchen light turn on and I knew she wasn't going back to sleep.

When I got to his room, Cas was asleep on the bed, connected to a bunch of machines, and Rev. Novak was standing by the window looking out of it, though there was no way he could actually see anything but his own reflection.

"How is he?" I asked, going over to him. God he looked so small sleeping in that bed.

"He's okay for now. His blood pressure dropped and he has a fever. They are running test and got in touch with Dr. Quinn. Chances are, he has an infection. He gets them easily."

I grabbed a chair, setting it next to the bed and sat. "I'm here," I said as I took his hand.

I closed my eyes, needing just a moment. This was scary and I knew this was only the beginning. However I meant what I said. I was in this and I would be by his side through this.

I fell asleep. I'd been there for almost twenty four hours, and while Cas woke up off and on, I was still in high panic mode, which was exhausting, so for a short while I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke with the sensation of him running his fingers through my hair. As I looked up, our eyes met and we both smiled, though I imagine my smile looked pained.

"Hey," Cas said a little horse.

"Hi," I replied.

We sat there then, just looking at each other. There wasn't a need for more words. Just our joined hands and locked eyes said it all.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little better," Cas replied.

I sat up more, taking his other hand in mine. I ran my thumb on the side of his hand in a circle motion, trying to sooth myself just as much as I hoped to sooth him.

"How long have you been here?" Cas asked, as he glanced out the window. It was night again.

"About two days," I replied, smiling. "Do you need anything? Water?"

"No, no. I'm okay." He visibly swallowed as he closed his eyes. "I'm still so tired."

"Get more sleep," I said as I stood and kissed his forehead. I'll be here when you wake up."

Cas nodded before he yawned. I watched as he slowly moved to get comfortable, then fell asleep quickly.

I started to dose off myself when Rev. Novak came back in. He looked as tired as I felt, though luckily the awkwardness of both of us being here had faded. We were both here for Cas and that all that mattered.

"You should go home. Get some rest," He said, as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm okay," I replied, leaning back in the chair, and rubbed at my tired eyes.

"Son, I need some time with him. Please."

I looked up because his voice was both gentle and stern. His expression was soft, and his eyes were rimmed red. Yeah, I imagined my own eyes mirrored his. I said nothing as I stood, and leaned over Cas to kiss his forehead. He opened his eyes and smiled. "I'll be back," I told him.

"Okay," he replied.

I sat in my car after pulling up to my house, trying to put a cap on my emotions. After being gone for two days, both his mom and brother would have a million questions, and I wanted to be able to tell them that I would tell them later, without falling apart.

Once I thought I was good, I went in. The house smelled of meatloaf, and I could hear music coming from Sam's room. It struck my hard that while my world seemed to be at a standstill, life around me was moving on. How? How could life go on when one of gods angels was dying? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair!

"Dean, how's Castiel doing?"

I looked at her, and the tears came. "I'm going to lose him, mom. I'm going to lose him, and there isn't a damn thing I could do."

She came to me, holding me close. I clang to her like a small child might as I sobbed. Sobbed because I wasn't sure how I would survive this. Sobbed because I knew Cas would die all too soon. Sobbed because I was exhausted, and I sobbed because I could. Funny how ones mom was always their safe place.

* * *

I slept the best I could, but it was still just hours later when I returned to the hospital. Cas looked better now. Some color had returned to his face, and he was sitting up, eating Jello. "Hey."

Cas looked up at me, a huge smile on his face. "You looked like you got some sleep."

"I did." I replied, going to him. "You look better too."

"I am. I feel well enough to be hungry." With that, he took another bit.

I smiled at him, sitting on the edge of his bed. "So does this mean you get to go home soon?"

Cas put the Jello down. "I'm not sure. Some of my labs aren't looking great, so they took a few more and that will determine on what happens next."

"Oh," I said, looking down at our joined hands. Would the end come this soon? Could I only have days or weeks?

"Hey, come here," he said, moving over, motioning me to lay with him.

I did as he asked, and he rested his head on my chest for a while. "Don't go there. Just focus on the time we have."

I closed my eyes, but then opened them quickly. No, I should look at him. Take in the sight of him. Breathe him in. God only knew I would miss it. Everything about him I would miss.

We stayed like this, watching an I love Lucy rerun. It was a moment that would stay with me in the future.

After the episode, Cas sat up. "I just remembered," he said, as he leaned over, brought back a wrapped gift that looked a lot like a book. "I got you this."

I opened it, and for a moment was a little unsure of what it was. It looked a little old, and like a journal.

"It was my mothers. She loved to write down quotes and song lyrics that she loved. This book was half empty when she died, and my father gifted it to me when I was fourteen. I've added to it."

I smiled, and opened the book to the front page, and read. "Life is what happens when your busy making other plans. John Lennon." Cas settled in beside me, so I continued on. "If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. Dolly Parton."

"That's one of my favorites. Along with," Cas flipped a couple pages. "Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Cas said, his eyes closed. "Mark Twain." he added as he opened his eyes.

I flipped to the page that was marked by a piece of red fabric. Before I could say anything, cas spoke.

"That's the last thing she ever wrote in this book."

"Love is always patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always preserves." I read it out loud, and when I looked at Cas, he was wiping away a stray tear.

"She loved that. She used to say it to me as a child."

"It's beautiful." I replied, and meant it.

Cas sighed, settling into the bed, his eyes drooping. As he fell asleep beside me, I continued to look though the book. His hand writing, though different from his moms, was just a neat. He had quotes and little dribbles of writing. Sometimes there were writings about his day, others were writings about his fears.

I paused on a page marked from almost two years ago. There was a polaroid picture of me, taped to the page that read, 'Today, Dean Winchester looked sad. I'm not sure what made me snap the picture, but I did. I wonder if his friends have noticed how sad he seems at times. I doubt it, because while he's frowning, they are laughing.'

I sat there, staring at the picture. You can see my friends laughing, and me not looking thrilled. How had Cas known? Even before I knew?

* * *

To say I panicked when I walked into Cas' room after going home to eat and shower, to find it empty, was an understatement. My heart fell, and as acid burned my throat, I ran out of the room, only to run into a nurse pushing Cas in a wheelchair. "What's happening?" I asked, noting he was holding a bag. I thought he couldn't go home just yet?

"Tell your father thank you for me!" Cas said happily as he was wheeled away.

What? I thought to myself. What did he have to do with anything?

"Dean," Rev. Novak said as he approached me, the rest of Cas' things. "Your dad has been calling you."

Yeah, and I've been ignoring him. I thought to myself.

"He's arranged for Castiel to have in home care for he can be home. Please, thank him for us."

I stood there stunned as he walked away. In home care? That couldn't be cheap. He would do that? For me?

I felt odd as I got in my car and headed to his house. It had been so long that I felt anything but hate for him that this new feeling of gratitude really hit me. As I made the drive, I thought about how I've treated him, and how unfair it had been. I only saw how his leaving affected me, that I didn't stop to think about his side. About how miserable both my parents were.

All this time I insisted that he abandoned us, me. But he continued to reach out to me even as I pushed him away. I pushed him out of my life, and still he tried. It was me who abandoned him.

I knocked on his door, my emotions already getting the best of me. The tears already stung my eyes as the door opened, and he stepped out. My throat felt dry as I struggled to choke out a thank you, but when it didn't come, he grabbed me and pulled me close.

"You're welcome, son." He said as I cried in his arms.

"Thank you," I managed between sobs.

The pain seemed to burst out of me then, rocking through me as I held him. "I'm going to lose him, right? There's no way he'd survive?"

"Why don't you come in? I can try to help you understand all of this."

After I pulled myself together, we went inside. His fiancée, was actually a kind woman, who brought us drinks as my dad answered the questions I had. After a while, I felt like I had a better understanding of what Cas was going through, and as I was leaving my father told me to call anytime if I had further questions.

Once back in town, I drove to Cas' house, and lead against my car as I looked up at his house. The love of my life was in there. In my opinion, the worlds purest angel. I almost laughed at how corny my thought was, but it remained true anyway. Cas was an angel sent to me. He helped me find my true path, and I swore on that day as I looked up at his house that I would become worthy of him.

….

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

**…**

I had my next task, and it didn't matter to me that I was tired, nor did I care that it was currently ten at night. I had to finish the telescope Cas and I started making the day before he ended up in the hospital, and it had to be completed by tomorrow night or Cas would miss the commit. I wasn't having that.

I shivered some as the spring night air grew a little chilly, but I ignored it. I wasn't going to let that get to me. I worked slowly, but steady as I had to figure this out without Cas' prior experience, but this wasn't my first time following blueprints.

Rev. Novak approached me, and I figured he wasn't happy with my presence here. "I have to get this done. I can't wait until morning." I said, using a respectful tone.

"I know. I brought you some coffee," he said, handing me the mug he held.

I took it, as I thanked him, and the first sip of the hot caffeine warmed me some.

"What can I do to help you? I've Helped Castiel a few times."

We worked together into the morning. By ten we were not only finished, but it was up on the balcony, ready to roll tonight. I couldn't wait to surprise Cas with it.

Cas found us in the kitchen, laughing over a story the Rev. was telling me about when he was younger. Him and his brothers were apparently troublemakers. Who would have thought? When Cas walked in, the confusion on his face was almost laughable.

"Morning, Honey, want something to eat?" His father asked.

"Um," He looked at me with questioning eyes. "Sure."

After he cooked Cas some eggs, the Rev. excused himself. Cas waited until he was gone before looking at me. "Okay, what's happening?"

"Nothing. We just worked on a project together and we were just winding down. You know, he's not the stick in the mud I thought he was. AT least not completely."

Cas smiled, though he was clearly still confused.

"Eat your breakfast and I will show you what we've been up too."

…..

"Oh my god!" Cas said as he went to the telescope. He moved a little slow, but the excitement was clear in his eyes. "You two finished this?"

"We sure did," Rev. Novak said proudly.

"I didn't want you to miss the commit. I know how important it is to you."

Cas looked at us with tears in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much for this."

….

"There it is," Cas said later that night. He was looking through the telescope up at the sky. You could see the commit with your naked eye, but only just. "It's amazing."

I smiled as I stood beside him, my hands in my pockets, looking up at it. "I'm happy you got to see it."

"Here, take a look," Cas said, moving aside.

I did as requested, and I had to admit that it was freaking cool as hell. "Wow."

"God's miracles are truly amazing." he said, sitting. He had been sick earlier, and I could tell it was taking its toll.

"It must be," I replied, sitting next to him. "You cold? I could get you a blanket."

"No, I'm okay. I'm better then okay." He smiled at me. "I love you so much."

I smiled now, blushing some. I took his hands in mine, Thinking about how he wanted to marry in the church his parents got married in. I'd been thinking about this a lot lately. I knew what I wanted, I just was afraid how Cas would react.

"Do you? Do you really love me?"

"Or course," Cas replied, nodding his head some as if to reinforce his answer.

"Then will you do something for me?"

Cas smiled some as a soft laugh escaped his lips. "I will do anything for you."

"Will…Will you marry me?"

Cas stared at me as his eyes started to water. "Really?"

I squeezed his hands, which were still in mine. "I love you, Cas. I want nothing more than to be your husband and to love you every day for the rest of my life. Will you let me?"

Cas laughed now, delighted. "Yes. Yes I will marry you!"

I laughed too, hugging him close. "I love you."

"And I you."

* * *

"Hey mom," I said as I sat next to her on the couch.

"Hey, you. You okay?"

"I did something. I meant to talk to you about it first, but the moment was right and I had to do it. I asked Cas to marry me, and he said yes."

My mom sat up from her slouched position, surprise on her face. "You're getting married?"

I smiled nervously. "Yeah, mom."

She burst out in tears as she hugged me. "Oh I'm so happy for you!"

I hugged her back, and laughed a little. "You're not mad?"

"No, why should I be?" she asked, pulling away some. "Oh. My sweet boy." she wiped at her tears.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Do you need help planning the wedding? I can do that, I have so many good ideas saved on Pinterest!"

"No, mom…I mean, yeah you can help plan it, but…Can you teach me to dance?"

She smiled softly now, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "Of course I can."

* * *

I was on my way out when I ran into Anna and Mike. My first thought was to ignore them, but I figured that they were here because Gabe told them about Cas. So I stood there, my hands in my pockets, feeling unsure of how I would react to anything they said.

"Hey, man," Mike said, sounding as unsure as I felt.

"Hey," I replied.

"Listen, Gabe told us about Cas, and I feel like a real dick about everything. Shit bro, I just. I don't even know what to do with how I feel."

I nodded, not really having much to say in reply.

"Anyway, if you need anything. Anything at all, I'm your guy," With that, he went back to his truck, getting in.

Anna watched him go to the truck, turning her attention back to me once Mile was in. "Um, these are all the pictures I took from that play. You both look really amazing."

"Thanks," I said, taking the offered photos.

"I'm so sorry about the flyers. It was just a mean thing to do because I was jealous."

"Hey, it's in the past," I replied. She was getting teary eyed, and that threw me a little.

"I guess you're with the right person." She said, laughing a little, like there was an inside joke I was missing. "I think he chose you."

It was my turn to laugh nervously. "Yeah, but I have no idea why."

Anna wiped the tear from her cheek. "I do." She leaned in, kissing my cheek quickly before heading for the truck. She waved before getting in, and for the first time in a long time I thought maybe my old friends weren't lost causes.

Once they were gone, I pulled out the pictures. She was right, I didn't look half bad. Castiel on the other hand was absolutely gorgeous.

* * *

"You okay?" I asked Cas as we walked. We were walking on the docks, but he'd slowed some.

"Just tired," He replied, squeezing my hand.

I led him over to a bench, where we sat. The sun was starting to set, so I suggested we get him home, but he shook his head. He wanted to watch the sunset.

As the sun fell, so did the temperature, and while it wasn't enough to make me cold, I could feel him shiver next to me. I fixed his sweater, before giving him a kiss.

"It's beautiful." Cas said nodding his head towards the sky. "God's afternoon paintings."

I smiled. "It is beautiful."

"Love is patient, love is kind." Cas shifted to look at me. "Do you mind if my father reads that at the wedding?"

"I don't mind at all. I was also thinking we'd have yellow roses."

Cas smiled, pleased. "And sunflowers? A spring wedding must have sunflowers."

"Then it will."

"Okay," Cas said, settling in next to me. "How about you wear a pink tux?"

I stiffened at this. I wanted to give him everything he wanted for this wedding, but a pink tux? "Um…Yeah, okay."

Cas burst out laughing then. "I'm only joking," he said, shaking his head. "You would wear a pink tux for me?"

I looked at him, unable to keep a smile from my own lips. "I would do anything for you."

Cas smiled, once again settling into me.

"We should go. I don't want you getting a cold." I said, when he shivered again.

"Just a few more minutes," he said, closing his tired eyes. "I can still feel the days warmth."

* * *

"Are you nervous?" Sam asked as I packed some of my things. The wedding was only a few days away, and Cas decided he wanted us to live in the cabin together. The in home care place was currently there, getting everything ready, and a nurse would be out there twice a week and the doctor would be on call.

I stood there, considering the question. I supposed I was a little nervous. Though it was more to do with having to stand up in front of everyone and read my vows, which we had to write for ourselves. "Maybe some," I replied with a shrug.

"Moms going to cry," Sam said as he crossed the room and sat on my bed. "Hey, does this mean I can have your room?"

"Wow, I'm not even out yet and you're calling dibs?"

Sam laughed, but then grew sober. "Dean, aren't you afraid? Living alone with Cas? I mean, won't you be afraid that you will wake up and he'll…" Sam struggled to get the question out, and couldn't finish.

I sat next to him, nodding. "I'm terrified."

Nothing more was said. We just sat there for a few minutes, knowing there was nothing left to say. I was scared. I didn't want to find him dead, and I didn't know how to handle watching him go. But I decided to live this one day at a time and while sometimes my mind got the best of me, I was doing a fairly good job of not thinking too much about the future.

"How about school?" Sam asked, breaking the silence.

"We will both continue doing it online. We only have a couple weeks left anyway." Which was good. Graduation was in a month and I wanted Cas to be able to walk. It was important to him.

Sam nodded. "Well. I'm going to miss you."

I smiled. Yeah, I knew this was coming. We might not spend a lot of time together, and we might have drifted further apart in recent years, but Sam has never had to live without me. Nor I him. "Yeah, kiddo. I'll miss you too."

…

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

**….**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**…..**

**April 30th**

As I stood there on my wedding day, looking up at the church windows, some things fell into place. The windows were stained glass and the design included bees and yellow roses. Cas told me his mom used to bring him here when he was little, and now I understood why he loved yellow roses and bees. It reminded him of his mother.

"You looked so handsome," my mom said a little later as I stood in my tux. It was black, thank god.

"Thank you," I replied, happy no one was here to witness her cooing over me.

"Everything's about ready to go. Everyone is here. Including your father. And on time too. I think hell must have frozen over."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Thank you, mom." I said, taking the hand that was fussing over my suite jacket. "Thank you for everything. For being the best mom and for loving me no matter how stupid my actions got."

She teared up now, but smiled. "That my love, is what mothers do."

…..

My heart thundered in my chest as Cas joined me in front of all our friends and family. The church was adorned with yellow roses and sunflowers. White flowers of some sort were thrown in to had some extra pop, or at least that's what my mom said.

Cas wore a tux as well, thought his was white. His smile was dazzling, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to speak.

Rev. Novak opened the bible, though he didn't look at it as he started. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak. While their love has been brief, the strength of their bond is unbreakable. Castiel has asked me to do a small reading before we begin with the vows."

There was a short pause, then he began. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always preserves." There was another pause has he composed himself. "Castiel, would you begin reading your vows?"

Cas smiled at me, making my heart do a flip. "I wasn't looking for you, but there you were. I wanted to push you away when you got closer, but you pushed down my walls. I was afraid loving you would be the end of me, but loving you is where I began. I've presented you with a difficult path, expecting you to run the opposite direction, yet you've only held me closer. I never expected this. To find love, and certainly I never expected for that love to be found in you. I feared my love for you would make me angry with god, but it's brought me closer to him. You're my gift. God gave me you so that I could be strong in the times to come. I love you, and I promise to always love you. I promise to make you laugh. I promise to hold you close. To cherish every moment, until the day I die."

Okay, so not crying today apparently wasn't and option, I thought as I pulled out my paper. I had to clear my throat and force back the tears. Cas' vows were beautiful, and I vaguely thought about how happy I was this was being recorded, even if it made me a feel just a little more self-conscious.

"Um," I said, a bit nervous. I cleared my throat again before beginning. "I love you. As I stand here today, with nothing more to offer to you then my love, that statement rings true. I love you." I looked up from my paper, realizing the words there isn't what I wanted to say. They were cheesy and not what my heart was saying now. "I remember the first time I saw you. The church had just opened and my mom wanted to welcome the new reverend and his family. You hair was in pigtails and you come over to me with that big grin offering me one of your lollypops." Cas laughed, making me pause a moment. "But I didn't really see you. I've known you most of my life, but I didn't really know you. You think god gave me to you as a gift, but while I still stand on shaky ground with faith, I think it's the other way around. You're my gift. You were sent to me to help me find my way. You took my hand and my world, my path became clear and bright. You're a gift, and I will never forget that. I promise to hold you when you're afraid. To pick you up when you are feeling down. To make your life beautiful. I will love you and cherish you beyond forever."

Cas wiped at his tears as he smiled. "Thank you," his whispered.

The rest of the weddingfelt like it went quickly. The rings were exchanged and the kissing in front of everyone was as awkward and beautiful as I thought it would be. Cas took my hand as we headed down the aisle together, joined in holy matrimony. It was almost crazy how happy I felt as Rev. Novak pronounced us husband and husband.

The reception was small but we still had a lot of fun. We ate and I surprised Cas with the first dance. I had practiced almost every night with my mom, and I told him so. As the night drew to an end, and we drove to the cabin, I felt more happy then I'd ever felt. The day was beautiful, and Cas was happy.

Once home, we settled on the couch in front of the fire I started, Both of us were tired, but I picked up the book we were reading last time and started reading out loud where we left off. Cas nestled into me, and at some point while I read he fell asleep.

I sat there in the silence, the only noise was the fire crackling, as I ran my fingers through his soft hair, watching him sleep. He was pale. Something I was starting to get used to. He was so tired. I knew that he was half way through the reception, but he insisted he was fine. I would have fought him on it if he hadn't looked so damn happy. But he slept now, safe and sound.

"I love you," I whispered to him. "God, I love you so damn much."

* * *

**May 15th**

Graduation was an outside affair. Being that we lived in a small town and our graduating class was only one-hundred and fifty, they put up a stage in the football field and put down chairs.

As I stood on that stage, looking down at my family I was surprised at the emotions that ran through me. I hadn't expected to find myself here. I was graduating, and had a few collage acceptance letters. I knew what I wanted from life, though I still had to figure out what I wanted to specialize in. There were so many choices in the medical field.

Half a year ago my life was still a mess. I was angry and unhappy. Now I was graduating high school, married to the best person on earth, and moved out of home. Had you asked me at the beginning of the school year where I thought I would be on graduation day, this was not it.

I looked over at Cas, beaming. He looked so happy that it warmed me. He worked hard to be here too, and unsurprisingly he made valedictorian. He smiled at me as he took his place to give his speech.

"Class of 2020. We've made it!" he paused as everyone cheered. "I thought long and hard about what to say. This speech is supposed to be inspiring and I worried over how to do this without copying speeches from years past. How to make a memorable speech. How to inspire your future when we've spent all our lives working up to this day, and looking beyond it seems impossible. So what does the future hold? What can you see now that you're here? Going from wanting to be Princess, pirates, mermaid, and superheroes, to being doctor, firemen, business owners and politicians. How do you plan on getting there? As we stand here today, feeling overwhelmed because we don't know, I want to say that it's okay. It's okay that we don't have our lives planned out. It's okay if we don't even know what we want to do at all. Because life is not just about who or what you want to be. Life isn't only about what career you want, and how you plan on getting there. The destination is only a small part of the overall picture. Life is about the moments we spend laughing. The moments spent with loved ones. The moments that make you cry and the moments that make you question everything, because these are the moments you grow. So from here on out, stop asking what you want to eventually be. Stop stressing over how you are going to become someone or something. Because life can pass you by and you will lose those moment that make life, life. When you know what you want, thrive. Reach for it. Don't let anyone make you question it. But while you're out there, becoming a doctor, or starting a business, don't lose track of the days in between. Achieving a dream is amazing. Getting to a place you've worked so hard to get to is amazing. However it's the journey that will really count. You don't want to look back and think, wow, what the hell happened to me? Where's all my happy memories? I'm here where I wanted to be, but I have no one to share it with. So live, laugh, love and never lose sight of what's really impotent. Don't spend it running to reach the next goal. Life is a walk, and at the end, you want to make it a walk to remember. Thank you"

We all cheered again, many of us, including myself wiped tears from our eyes. We threw our hats, and finally class of 2020 was graduated.

* * *

**June 4th**

"I've got it," Cas said as I took the dish from him. I could tell he was getting tired, and I wasn't surprised since he insisted on cooking dinner tonight. He said I was doing more than my share of household chores. I told him I didn't mind it one bit, but he wouldn't hear it.

"I know you do," I replied, putting the dish into the soapy water. "But the dishes can hold, I have a better idea," I added, lifting him up onto the counter.

"Oh," Cas replied with a laugh. "I think I can be quite agreeable to this."

I smiled as I kissed him. At first, I was afraid to touch him. Was sexual activity even okay? After talking with his doctor, I learned it was okay for as long as his heart was okay, and as of now, though they suspected it wouldn't take much longer, his heart was fine.

So we made love. I always made it a point to memorize how he felt. His soft curves. The way his hip bone protruded from his waist. The feel of his chapped lips on mine. I wanted to remember the way his breath would catch when I stroked him. The way his hips moved demanding more. The sound of his moans that were so erotic that the sound of them alone could send me over. And god the way he touched me. The feel of his hands on my skin. He knew how to stroke me just right that could have me cumming in just a few strokes. These were things I never wanted to forget.

I did the dishes later that night as Cas slept on the couch. Sex always wore him out. After the dishes were done, I carried him up to our bed, unhappy with how light he was getting. I noticed over the last few days that he wasn't eating as much. Though this had happened around graduation, and then a few days later he spent the next four days constantly eating. Apparently this was normal. Still I worried.

* * *

**June 27th**

We all laughed as we played card against humanity, which my mom later said was probably too grown up for Sammy at the time, thought I disagreed. Even the Reverend, who I thought would find the game distasteful, was laughing until he cried. I found that the more I knew and understood my father in law, the more I really liked him.

"I have seven cards!" My mom singed out, clearly happy that she'd one the game.

"Awe man!" Sam say. "I was almost there." he added, showing off six black cards.

"I have four," Cas put in.

"Don't worry, I only have three." Rev. Novak laughed.

I shook my head as I held up my measly one card, prompting more laughter.

We did this game night once a week and somehow no matter what we played, I was constantly the loser. It was okay though, because these nights were really about Cas. It was getting more and more tiring for him to go out, so we had them come here instead. He really loved having them over, and it seemed to really bright his spirits.

"I'm sorry," Cas said with a yawn. "I don't think I can stay up much longer."

"That's alright," His dad said as he started collecting card. "I have an early morning anyway."

As Cas and his dad cleaned up the card game, I followed my mom to the kitchen where she started washing dinner dishes.

"I can do that," I told her.

"I know you can." She said, looking over her shoulder at Cas. "How did the appointment go?"

Unease settled into my chest. "They give him a month." I struggled to say. "His appetite his horrible. I've been worried for days. His kidneys…" I chocked on my words. "I'm losing him, and I do my best to always look okay, but I don't know how I can keep it up."

My mom put her hand on my cheek. "You will be amazed at what you can do for the sake of someone you love."

I nodded, looking over to see Cas hug his father. "I won't ever be ready."

"No, you won't."

…

I woke alone in bed later that night. I checked the bathroom for him first, thinking he'd been sick, but he wasn't there. My heart started to panic, but a movement from the balcony caught my eye, calming me.

"You okay?" I asked, going to him. He looked at me, tears streaming down his face. It was then I realized he was shaking. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"I'm…I'm scared." he cried out, throwing his arms around me. "I know god has a plan for me, but I'm…I…I can't shake this fear of the unknown. I'm…Oh god." he sobbed so hard it rocked though him.

My heart broke. Jesus what were you supposed to do when the man you loved was so afraid he was reduced to tears and there was nothing you could do to change the reason behind the fear? I couldn't cure him. I couldn't make him unsick. Fuck I hated this.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." I said, feeling stupid because clearly it wasn't, but what else could you say? "Come one," I said, leading him back into the room, but didn't stop there. A bath was in order.

I started the water, letting it warm up as I helped Cas from his clothes before taking off mine. He said nothing as we both got in, and I held him close. I hummed, rocking gently side to side as the water pooled around us. Thank god for deep tubs. Soon, Cas' sobbing slowed becoming slow tears.

After a while, he stopped crying all together, nothing left but the occasional sniffle. Still I held him, waiting for…well I wasn't sure what would come next.

"I wanted be a fairy." Cas said after a while. He had shifted so his back was to my chest, and my cheek rested near his. He sniffed and went on. "I wanted to fly. I actually tried once, but my father caught me, and made me get off the roof. He was so scared."

I laughed a little. "I would have been too."

Cas giggled. "I hope we really do get wings in heaven, because then I can fly."

"Will would you go?" I asked. "If you could fly?" I looked down as Cas traced the lines on my hand.

"Everywhere. I would see everything. Do everything."

I nuzzled Cas' necked, hugging him closer. "I bet heaven is the most beautiful place there is. You won't be tired or sad. And your wings will allow you to fly anywhere you wish to go."

"I wish to be wherever you are," Cas replied softly. "I promise I'll never be far from your side. But in return, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Live." The word seemed to hang over us. It was so heavy, I swore the weight of it would crush us both.

I closed my eyes, tears of my own falling. "I will. I promise I will." It was going to hurt like hell. Living without him. Moving on. Wondering what he would do if he were there. What he would say. I would miss moments like this. Moments where all I could see and feel were him. But I would live. Because as long as I did, I would be doing right by him.

* * *

**July 23rd**

I stood there outside our room feeling numb as the doctor spoke. The only words I really caught were words like organs failing and infection. Cas had a seizer, prompting me to call an ambulance, but Cas came too before they arrived and refused to go to the hospital. So we called the doctor who told Cas to go get labs done, and now he was here telling me Cas only had hours left

"There's nothing to be done? We can't stop the organs from failing?"

"His body is tired. At this point all we can do if make him as comfortable as possible. This is it, Dean. This is what we've prepared for."

I nodded, as I tried to breathe, but it hurt. I felt sick and pissed. I knew this was coming. I knew the end would come too soon, but shit. "Oh god," I said as I swayed on my feet. I thanked god that Cas couldn't see me now. This would worry him.

"Dean," The doctor said. "This isn't the time. Cas needs you."

I took deep breaths, trying to force the air in. I felt lightheaded and the doctors words seemed a million miles away. "I can't. I can't," I said as I ran down the stairs. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. The word repeated over and over again. Oh god. No. why?Wh..why. I screamed out loud the moment I was outside. My knees hit the ground and I wept.

"Dean," a comforting voice said, pulling me from my sorrows. My eyes focused on my mom's face. "Dean you're okay."

"He's…He's dying."

She pulled me to her. "I know, baby. I know."

"Oh god."

"I know it hurts, but you need to pull yourself together."

"How?" I asked, my voice hoarse. "Mommy? How?"

"Your husband is up there, waiting for you. You promised him you'd be there till the end, so you have to keep that promise." She said this sternly, and I would always be grateful to her for these words. I nodded as took deep breaths

"You're right. I can do this." I wiped at my cheeks. "I can do this for him."

"Yes you can."

I took one final deep breath before standing. "I can." I said again, trying to draw strength from those words. I closed my eyes as my mom wiped away another tear. "I will."

….

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys, the last chapter. As always I find ending a fic bitter sweet. I really enjoyed writing this, though I ugly cried with this one, not the I'm surprised. I have always been easily moved. I fell in love with a walk to remember at a young age and to this day it fills me with…hope? Happiness? Comfort? Lol I guess I don't know what it makes me feel, maybe all of the above, but it's my go too for any mood. Anyway, for anyone who might notice, I changed up the footprints in the sand poem, so yes, I know lol. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks to all my readers! Enjoy the last chapter!
> 
> ….

**Disclaimer! I do not own Supernatural/A Walk to Remember or its characters. All credit go to the wonderful creators of Supernatural/A Walk to Remember and their respective owners.**

.....

On my way up to Cas, his father was on the way down. He looked aged ten years with the grief. We stopped on the stairs as we came together. I wished I could find words. Anything to ease him, but I had nothing. This was one of those times that words simply failed.

He reached out, putting his hand on my shoulder, gripping it firmly. "One night I walked along the beach with the lord, and when I looked back I only saw one set of footprints. I said to the lord, In my time of suffering why do you leave me?" He paused as his tears spilled over. "The lord replied, My precious child. I love you. I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you only see one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I nodded, understanding this was meant to be a comfort. Not just for me, but for both of us. I fount back tears of my own, but I wasn't winning.

"He asked that I don't linger. He doesn't want me to watch him go." Rev. Novak shook his head. "How do I leave? When my child…"

I wiped at my tears. "He doesn't want you to suffer."

"And you?"

I smiled some, though it felt odd. "He knows I won't listen so he won't bother asking."

Rev. Novak nodded. "You will call…"

I nodded, and we crossed paths as he headed for the door and I to the beginning of the end.

Cas smiled the best he could when I walked in. I was sure my eyes were red from crying, but neither of us would mention that now. "Come here," he said, trying to reach out his hand.

I went to him, hating how cold his hand felt in mine. "You okay?" I asked, feeling foolish. He was dying for god's sake!

"They gave me stuff to numb the pain." He spoke softly. "Dean…don't cry."

I wiped at the tear the fell and tried to breathe. "I…" What? I what? What did I want to say? What did I want to share with him? Everything. Anything. Shit.

"I want to see the stars," Cas said, interrupting my thoughts.

That was something I could do. I lifted Cas from the bed, and carefully carried him from the house. I half expected the nurse to say something, though at this point, there was nothing I could do to make him worse. I realized brining him to the balcony would have been enough, but I wanted to bring him down to the lake where the stars could be seen so clearly they painted the sky.

I carefully sat him down, before sitting behind him. He leaned back onto me, and I held him close. The night sky was clear, and I was thankful for it.

"I will see the stars from heaven, and remember this moment," Cas said with a heavy sigh. "Kiss me?"

Cas tilted his head as I leaned over and we kissed. It was a simple kiss, yet profound. Everything went into that kiss. All the love we have. All the words we've said, all the words we'd never get to say. "You're beautiful." I said, caressing his cheek.

Cas smiled, then moved so his head was resting on my chest. "Love is patient, love is kind." He said, having to pause a lot to breathe.

"It does not envy," I continued for him. "It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always preserves."

"They're beautiful," Cas said looking at the stars again.

"Yes," I replied, and then we fell silent. I held him, trying to ignore the fact that I could hear his labored breathing. Trying to ignore that fact that he was dying.

….

"Promise me," Cas said a few hours later as the sun started to rise. "Remember you promised me."

"I remember," I replied, referring to when I promised him I would live.

"Promise me again," he said, though I wished he wouldn't. He was struggling to breathe as is, and speaking didn't help. Plus he sounded a little panicked.

"I promise you I will live. I swear it to you." I replied, as fresh tears came to my eyes. "I swear. You don't have to worry about me."

"I love you."

I closed my eyes, my heart aching. "I love you too, Cas."

"Dean, I'm scared." Cas struggled to say, as he struggled to breathe.

I cried openly now. How could I not weep for him? "The lord is my shepherd," I started and was glad that Cas seemed to calm almost immediately. "I shell not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk thought the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." I started to shake because the breaths that were labored stopped, but I still spoke. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over." I cried harder now, sobbing as I finished the prayer. "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the lord forever."

Cas was gone. I was sure of this as I felt for a pulse that wasn't there. I rocked with him in my arms as the pain overtook me. How would this ever get better? The pain was unbearable as my own breathes became uneven. "I love you. I love you I love you. I love you." I repeated thought I knew he couldn't hear me.

"Oh god!" I screamed out, unable to keep it in. "Why?" I whispered.

Sometime later I felt a hand on my shoulder. I couldn't tell you how long I sat there, holding him. "It's time to let go, son." Rev. Novak said softly.

How? How did I let go when all I wanted to do was hold him. The moment I let go, he'd be gone forever.

"Those we love, never leave us," Rev. Novak said as if he could hear my thoughts. "He will be with you forever."

I'm not sure where I found the strength to let him go. Nor the strength to make it through the following days. I spent days as though I was walking in someone else's shoes. This wasn't my life. Certainly not. There were nights I woke up in tears and days I felt like getting out of bed was impossible. The funeral happened in a daze and to this day I hardly recall the words spoken or the faces that appeared.

"Promise me." His words came back to me one morning about a month after living in the haze. I stood by the lake, feeling lost in confused. I was unsure how to go on. My chest was heavy with anger and my heart cried for Cas. "Live."

I fell to my knees, gripping the dirt beneath my hands. "I promise." I said out loud. "I promise."

* * *

**Four years later**

I pulled up in front of Rev. Novak's home, and I sat in awe of how unchanging it was. The windows were all in the same place, the tree out front was still well kept. The color of the house wasn't even fading. It was like a time capsule.

Four years ago I fled my tiny town. I fled the memories. I left behind the cabin and the lake. Left behind the docks we used to walk and the places we used to go. I fled the place that I could see Castiel everywhere because I couldn't heal.

I still saw my family. They would visit me on holidays and whenever they had time. I only lived a few hours away. Even Rev. Novak and I got together when he was nearby for dinner.

However this was my first time back here, and I was struck by how everything seemed to be unchanged by the four years that had changed me. I was in college. I worked part time to help get me buy, and even managed to get a small house. I lived humbly, but I didn't mind.

"Dean! How nice to see you," Rev. Novak said as he stepped aside to let me in.

"Nice to see you too," I replied. We sat, getting comfortable. "How are you?"

"I get by," He replied with a smile. "Never thought I'd see you here. How are you?"

"I'm good." I had to clear my throat. "I got accepted to John Hopkins medical school. Took a while, but I got in."

"That's amazing news. Your mom must be proud."

I nodded. "Yes, she is."

"Did you decide what you want to specialize in?"

"Oncology. I want to help those with cancer."

Rev. Novak beamed. "Castiel would be proud of you."

I smiled too. "Yes he would be." I looked down at my clasped hands. "I just wish he would have gotten his miracle."

"He got his miracle, Son. He found you."

That hit me hard, and I was unsure what to say in return. "Thank you." That would just have to do.

"I ah, wanted to give you this." I said, as I pulled a book from the brief case. "Cas gave it to me, but I think it really belongs with you."

"Oh, Dean," He said as he took it from me. He didn't have to ask what it was. He already knew. "You sure?"

"Yes."

Rev. Novak held the book to his heart. "I have something for you too." He stood, going over to the secretary and pulled out a stack of what looked like notes bound together by a thin rope. "Cas gave this to me, telling me to give it to you when I thought you were ready." He gave me the bundle, and a large envelope. "You might want to read that in privet." He added.

I spent the afternoon with him, telling him about my life, though I spent a lot of it studying. I told him about my friends and time spent with them. He was glad to hear all of it. When asked about my love life I told him about Izzy. We weren't together, but being around her made the hard nights easier and that I was working up allowing myself to love her.

"It's what Cas would want," He assured me, and I knew he was right. Not that it made taking that leap any easier.

* * *

Later I sat in my car by the docks. I shook some as I took the first letter from the pile. I could recognize Cas' handwriting anywhere. I had to close my eyes a moment, readying myself for whatever this said.

My Dearest Dean

If you are reading this, my father must believe you are ready. I surely have past some time ago by this time, and you must be on the road to healing. You brought me so much joy in the time we had. You were the light in the dark. My miracle. You once said you wished you could save me, and I could never get you to understand that you did save me. You loved me. You gave me feeling I never knew existed. Do you remember when you asked me for help with the play? I told you not to fall in love with me? Well, I said that because I knew there was a danger that I would fall in love with you. It's silly I guess, looking back on it. Because loving you is the best thing that I'll ever do. Now, you made me a promise. You promised me you would live. So I wrote letters to remind you to live and give your ideas on how to send your evening or day. For example, if I know you, you just got these from my father not too long ago. Meaning you're likely to be in our home town. This is of course assuming you left. Go down to the docs, take a walk and watch the sunset at the place we used to sit together. Remember to appreciate its beauty, an anytime the wind blows, know that it's me, reaching out to touch your cheek. I know this letter and ones to follow might make you sad, but please try not to be. I have my wings, and you were right, they are absolutely beautiful.

P.S. In the envelope you will find the deed and keys to the cabin. I have left it, and everything left in it, to you. My father knows and approves. Please use it. Bring your loved ones to it. Fill it with the laughter of children and life. I love you so much and I want you to find love again more than anything.

I sat there with the letter in my hand, surprised. Not that he would think to write me letters in advance. No, that was just like him. He was just the kind to think of the future. But I was surprised that he left me the cabin, and surprised that I found comfort in that. I was okay with that.

I looked at the stack of letter left to be read and decided I would read on once a week. Too many at time might break my heart, but once a week I could handle. I did take a few minutes to read what the envelopes said. Some said nothing while others said things like, When you graduate medical school, when you have your first child, when you get married, To the person you love. Those ones were going to be hard to read. At least now I knew how Cas spent those hours in the library.

I had to laugh a little as I was already here at the docks, so I did as he asked. I walked along the pathway that followed the river to our favorite spot. The sun would be setting soon, and I found it odd that it all timed out so well. Cas would have said it was god putting us on the right path.

As I stood there, the memories playing in my mind, I found peace. A peace I never thought I would get. Cas, he changed my life forever. He set me on a path I never would have found on my own, and even now that he's gone, he's still leading me.

I find strength in his memory. When feeling lost, the image of him taking my hand pulls me forward. When I am happy, the memory of his smile fills me with joy and when I am down, unsure how to go on, he reminds me to live.

Life is a walk. So make it a walk to remember. Cas had said that on graduation day. I live by those words now. On the days I find it hard to breathe. On the days I feel like I can't move on. When I realize I can fall in love again and I feel guilty for it, though I know that's what he wants. He wants me to live, and live to the fullest.

"I promise," I said to the setting sun, as it painted the sky pink and purple. The wind blew then, a gentle breeze that made me smile as I imagined it was Cas reaching out to caress my skin.

I would live. I would love. But I would never forget. I could never forget. Our time together was short, but in that short time we found more love then some would find in a life time. No, I would never forget.

I remember it all like it was yesterday. I can still hear the sound of his laughter and the way he said he loved me. I can still feel the touch of his lips on mine and the smoothness of his skin. The memories are so close it is almost as if I could reach behind me, and he would be there to take my hand. It has been four years since I lost him, but the image of him walking toward me will stay with me forever.

….

**I hope you have all enjoyed the chapter. Reviews and Comments are appreciated. Thanks :D**


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